The Biter Bit

宝贝，只剩下我和你

2008-08-18T09:16:00.000-07:00

1.你的草莓园
　　星期六的下午，想采草莓。　　春天是采草莓的季节，采草莓可以重新认识自己。草莓在历史上曾经启发过很多人。莎士比亚在《亨利五世》中说：“草莓长在荨麻底下，四周越是劣等植物，草莓长得越茂盛。”　　与众不同，让某些人愤世嫉俗，减慢了生命的速度。却让另一群人一马当先，尽情地solo演出。　　我们大部分的人都在群体中工作生活，对于团体，养成了依赖的习惯。我很喜欢惠普公司的一个广告。惠普是由两名史丹佛大学的毕业生在30年代创立的。其中一名辞去“通用电器”这家大公司的安稳工作，两人凑了538美元，在自家车库开起公司。这种离开体制、单枪匹马的“车库模式”造就了许多高科技公司：微软、苹果，都曾经只是退学生在车库里的梦。惠普的广告鼓励公司和个人发挥“车库精神”，它的文案说：“别搞政治，别搞官僚(小小的车库还搞这些很荒谬)……该团队工作时团队工作，该单枪匹马时不怕孤独。”　　该单枪匹马时不怕孤独。　　地球的另一边，事隔30年，到了60年代，也有类似的情绪。披头四1967年的《永远的草莓园》被很多乐迷选为历史上最好的歌。《永远的草莓园》是披头四老家利物浦一所孤儿院的昵称。约翰蓝侬小时候常溜到它旁边的树林中，享受孤独的乐趣。在歌词中，蓝侬表明了他自觉与众不同，想要遗世独立的心情。他唱：“眼睛闭上，活着就很容易，只会看到误解，不会有真理……没有人和我在同一棵树上，他们不是太高就是太低。要合群不容易，不合群也没什么关系。”　　星期六下午，不论在家或出门，不论在办公大楼或车库之中，别忘了偶尔站起来，走过你的草莓园。　　
2.所以亲我
　　星期六的下午，想要亲吻。　　吻的位置不同，意义就不一样。就像蛋糕，亲吻总是伴随着人生重大的事件发生。吃蛋糕绝对不是坏事，每一个吻都可以创造历史。　　亲嘴是爱情，不过有时候只是人工呼吸。亲脸是友情，用来打招呼或祝对方好运。飞吻是小孩子的专利，大人飞吻像在演三流电影。亲脚令人兴奋，特别当你们还未婚。亲耳朵时已经事态严重，接下来就要向其它部位进攻。亲屁股的地点是办公室，英文称这种马屁精叫BrownNose。　　干湿，决定了吻的价值。初恋的女生死也不肯张开牙齿，你感觉像在吃一个干橘子。激情的女人会张开嘴巴，从此之后你无法再吃正常的饮食。我喜欢看她们因为不愿破坏口红而把你推开，吻完后补口红时抿嘴的专心。她表面上在抱怨你害她上班来不及，其实心里在为她的魅力自鸣得意。　　我最喜欢的亲吻的歌是“啷当六便士”的《所以亲我》。歌词唱出了很多适合亲吻的地方和情况，然后结论是：“So,kissme.”　　能如此理直气壮去要求的吻，一生能有几个？　　
3.永远年轻
　　星期六的下午，想听摇滚乐。　　我讲的不是pub里那种没头没脑、会鼓励长得不怎么样的女生爬到吧台上热舞的节奏。也不是一个人关在家中、独自享受价值一百万的扩大器传出的噪音。我讲的是在海边，在没有厕所和旅馆的草丛，和一票披头散发的陌生人一同摇滚的感觉。　　“春天呐喊”露天演唱会每年四月在台湾南端的垦丁举行，令我想起了所有演唱会的鼻祖——美国的“Woodstock”。1969年8月15日礼拜五，当越战在另一个大陆打得如火如荼，五十万人挤进了纽约州北方荒郊野外的Woodstock，展开“音乐与和平”的狂欢。三天后，三个人被踩死，三个婴儿在现场诞生。　　露营式演唱会最美的是：它打破pub里那些装腔作势的嘴脸，让你体会到水乳交融的滋味。　　在pub，大家穿意大利的皮鞋，身上有浓郁的古龙水。在野外，大家脸上都是泥巴，没有人交换名片。在pub，大家眼神游移，每分每秒都在演戏。在野外，大家只看舞台，没有人会偷偷瞄你。在野外，大家都是头上戴着花的小孩。在pub，每个人都变成花痴。在野外，你和来自世界各地的陌生人躺在大地，彻夜不眠地谈论和体验着爱、性、雨、泥、音乐、自由，和其它各种不着边际的东西。最棒的是，如果你有门路、敢于冒险，这一切都不用花钱。当我们不在乎一件东西是不是免费时，我们就不再年轻。　　电吉他刷起，群众欢呼，那一刹那，你似乎感觉到你会永远年轻。　　
4.空气澡
　　星期六下午，想脱光衣服。　　我讲的不是刮胡刀或洗面皂广告中的那种脱光：身材健美的男主角满意地看着镜中自己的脸或上身，这样的自恋比穿棉袄还沉重。我讲的也不是确定窗帘都关好后，脱掉上衣穿个内裤在家里走来走去的那种脱光，内裤松紧带在肚子上造成的红印子，好像在提醒自己晚餐不能再吃。我讲的是说脱光就脱光，从厕所走到厨房，衣服根本不在身上，或心上。　　这种回归自然的状态在历史上被视为理所当然，今天却会被警察抓去关。文明最进步的希腊人，认为身体的美是不应掩饰的。希腊人为什么都穿袍子？脱起来方便！美国开国英雄富兰克林除了会放风筝证明闪电是电之外，还喜欢做一件更充满电力的事，那就是裸体！每天早上，他固定光着身子看书和写作，他把这件事叫做“洗空气澡”。　　洗空气澡不像洗热水澡那么容易，一旦光着身子，我们自然就会绷紧神经，注意窗外有没有望远镜。原始人赤身裸体，还把自己画上墙壁，文明进步的我们，却和自己的身体越来越疏离。我们花了太多的精神训练大脑，把心情寄托在那些形而上的东西。却很少有机会看看自己的身体，在还健康的时候学会珍惜。　　这是你的身体，一生中少数会陪你到底的东西。幸运的人在星期六晚上有别人帮他脱光，洗鸳鸯澡；不幸的我们就在白天自己脱光，洗空气澡吧。　　
5.自动日记
　　星期六下午，想整理收据。　　台湾的商店都会开一种制式收据，上面记载了店名、地址，购买东西的名称和价钱。税务单位凭借这些收据向商店收税，为了鼓励消费者索取这些收据，税务单位两个月抽一次奖，收据号码跟开奖号码一样的就可以得到奖金。这种收据有几个功能：第一、它是一种自动的日记。裤子里拿出一张洗过的收据，打开来看，如果上面写着“统一脱脂优酪乳75元”，就记得上个月展开了第十次的减肥任务。如果写的是“万宝路香烟50元”，上个月显然又有失败的戒烟经验。既然是日记，就要收好。不该看的人看到，她会问：“我们住在台北，你跑到台中的7-11去干嘛？是不是又去找你前任女友了？”　　第二个功能：它为过去画上句号。不快乐的事，不会因为那天过去而结束。家里、公司散置四处的收据，都是伤心的残骸。每个人保存收据和悲伤的方法都不同，有人塞进皮夹，有人丢在床下，有人捐给店里，有人随手丢弃。有人凄凄惨惨戚戚，有人今日事今日毕。　　我喜欢用超大型的黑夹子把收据夹紧，那些伴随着收据的回忆就不会松开，在夜阑人静时偷袭我的心。两个月一次，我彻底整理心情。开奖日，我一张一张地对，全部没中，我把收集、整理好久的收据往垃圾桶一丢，让记忆正式开始生锈。　　那一刻起，难吃的面包、坐错站的车票、买贵的衣服、分手的女友，才真正可以开始回收。　　
6.压抑
　　星期六的下午，想吃零食。　　我们都活在大大小小的压抑中。如果你过了三十岁，大的压抑大概永远也摆脱不了。外遇、一夜情，报上这些报导会让你重新思考到底要不要这么拘谨，但是兵临城下时你还是会要自己冷静。网络、新经济，这些名词会让你想东山再起，但被骂得狗血淋头时你嘴里冒出的还是“老板英明”。　　小的压抑是香烟、巧克力、冰淇淋。这些东西虽然对你的健康不好，却是你惟一负担得起的发泄管道。我们都不敢辞职或援交，那么至少让自己痛快地吃一球Haagen-Dazs的枫香核桃。它的坏处不会立刻上门，它的快乐却在当下发生。　　所以，去他的卡路里。为了情绪的收支平衡，腰围就让它多几公分。星期六下午，只有你能对自己好，只有你能为多年的压抑，寻求一点卑微的回报。我们保持联络　　星期六的下午，想打电话给失去联络的朋友。　　有些人，其实也不是真正的朋友，你和他们在工作或社交场合认识，简短闲聊、交换名片后，彼此都有好感。你们告别时会热络地握手说：“我们保持联络喔”、“找一天一起吃饭吧”、“改天一定要聚一聚”……　　这种承诺的结果，你我都清楚。你打过去若是录音机则都不会留言，最后只剩下一张不知如何归档的皱折名片。这当然不是谁的错。有时我们没有保持联络，是顾忌对方太忙。你不希望他在会议中接起电话，听到你的名字假装爽朗，其实是在努力回想认识你的时间和地方。　　成人世界里有一套专业术语：“再联络”表示“珍重再见”，“我们研究一下”表示“不会考虑”，“我们分手不是因为你而是因为我”表示“这样你可以放了我吧”。大家都听得懂这些话，这是保留颜面的文法。你明明说要找时间吃饭却没下文，没有人会指责你背信忘义。反而是你真的打电话去约，对方会觉得惊奇。　　星期六下午，是这种惊奇的最佳时机。三点钟，平时再忙的人都很寂寞。响了一个礼拜的行动电话，现在没有人打。偶尔接到一个简讯，是电讯公司的促销讯息。每个人都在翻着报纸，打着瞌睡。这时候接到电话，我们是何等感激！　　“我是那天那个——”　　“我记得！”　　原本只是擦肩而过的陌生人，也许就因此有了情意。　　
7.一朵小花
　　星期六的下午，想买一朵小花。　　我讲的真的是一朵小花，不是那种精雕细琢、有着紫色缎带、打扮得像贵妇一样的花束。一朵小花，放在一个只有大拇指宽的花瓶内，是花在愉悦你。像电视机一样夸大的花束，得二十四小时照顾，就变成你在伺候花。　　买花有两个原因，第一是做伴，第二是接近自然。人都需要有伴，但是情人什么都要管，养狗又太麻烦，所以养一朵花在窗台，轻松无负担。你当然没办法跟她接吻，她也不会听你抱怨你的老板。但她会跟你一起呼吸、一起盛开，她比你先衰老，让你在两三天之内看到生命的循环。你以为你还年轻？谢了的花提醒你：时间已经很晚。　　花粗糙的梗、上面的刺、偶尔的虫、凋谢后的枯干，让我们目睹自然。我们每天活在手机的金属光泽和简讯的数字字母中，离真实世界越来越远。我们喷很多香水，没闻过花的香味。我们当然不可能像大作家梭罗一样搬到湖畔，嘿，我们甚至没时间去台北近郊的阳明山！那就养一朵花吧。星期六的下午，在阴冷的公寓中，看到生命，也找到自然。　　
8.彻底清洁
　　星期六的下午，想彻底清洁。　　刮胡、用磨砂洗面奶、敷上SK-II、躺在浴缸里看一本肤浅的书。你可以把红酒放在浴缸旁，大胆调高CD的音量，趁水还温热时，开始想下一个度假的地方。　　清洁并不是因为晚上有约，只是让自己有新生的感觉。周一到周五，没有人有时间真正清洁自己。你若是早上冲澡，总在担心快迟到。你若是晚上洗澡，脑子里想的是明天九点报告要交。纵使你刷了三次牙，嘴巴里还是留着明天要说的谄媚的话。纵使你每晚固定敷脸，额头上还是黏着一整天的谎言。　　星期六，你不用去公司，星期天，你还可以休息，所以在周末下午，你可以对自己大扫除。把身上堆了一个礼拜的垃圾拿出去倒掉，你会在浴室镜中突然发现：嘿，原来我长得这么高。
9.有一点蓝
　　星期六的下午，想听爵士乐。　　我一点都不懂爵士乐。但也曾赶时髦，买过MilesDavis的“有一点蓝”、JohnColtrane的“极致的爱”。坦白说我听不懂，也感觉不出别人常讲的听爵士乐时的轻松。我总是听到一半睡着，梦到我在吃一个肉包。　　但我喜欢爵士乐表面上的毫无章法，它的即兴和没有计划。上班族的生活，是遵守一个线性的规则，你早上出去，晚上回来；努力做助理，等着升经理；认识美丽女子，先友后婚；买了房子，贷款要缴到你第二次得麻疹。这些固定的顺序，让生活有条理，但也让我们变成机器。人生变成铺好的楼梯，你只是上上下下而已。生活变成反射动作，你的大脑没有生意。　　爵士乐像一阵电铃，把你从午睡中叫醒。它没有主旋律，没有章节，没有副歌，没有起承转合。它打破你的预期，让你持续惊喜。它没有规则，你没办法跟着和。但正因为这样，你醒了。脱掉沉重的外壳，坐上大脑的云霄飞车，第一次你感到渴，第一次你感到：嘿，混乱也会快乐。　　
10.可以堕落
　　星期六的下午，想拔牙。　　拔牙让人清醒，我说的不是早上起床后那种清醒，而是夜里酒醉在高速公路上驾车撞上卡车大难不死后回想刚才到底在干嘛吓出一身冷汗的清醒。周一到周五，我们都活在酒醉的状态。虽然滴酒未沾，但我们的意识其实二十四小时被麻痹。麻痹我们的不是酒精，而是对人生的野心，和对自己的过度自信。求名、求利、求完美的爱情。到最后，我们因为不断在追求未来那个更好的生活，而从来没有在现在活过。　　坐在拔牙台上，你无助得像正在被制作成标本的动物。灯光的热度、工具的噪音，神经突然冒出头来闹情绪。那一刻你突然了解，你其实如此脆弱平凡。不管你自以为人生多么圆满，麻药过了你的牙还是会重新宣战。在病痛前人类一样渺小，再聪明成功的人拔牙后也要吃药。　　你醒了，立刻去吃麻辣火锅，如果可以，晚上就娶老婆。拔过牙后你懂了，你不须立地成佛，人生苦短，痛比乐多，偶尔，你可以“堕落”。　　
11.洗衣服
　　星期六的下午，想洗衣服。　　一个礼拜的脏衣服堆在篮子，像沉积了一个礼拜的心事。你把它们揉成一团、塞进洗衣机，希望不愉快也可以不用手洗，一按钮就变得干净。你的洗衣粉总是放得太多、柔软精加得过火、口袋里的硬币忘了拿出来、棉衬衫烘完后像泡菜。你总是偷懒，衣服烘干了还继续放在里面。星期一早上光着屁股，从浴室跑到烘干机里拿干净的内裤。　　洗衣服简单，养成烘完后立刻叠衣服的习惯却很难。叠衣服是生活中惟一能让人自省的时间，因为它是如此机械、如此无聊，你脑中惟一能想的事情是我这个礼拜得罪什么人、吃错了什么药。星期一为什么对同事大声？星期二为什么跟老板争论？星期三为什么不回电话？星期四为什么虚伪圆滑？生活中其它的时间，不管再怎么安静，你不会像在叠衣服时一样接近自己的内心。枯燥重复的动作往往让人灵光乍现。你突然明白：你衣服上也会沾蛋糕，成对的袜子烘完后绝对有少。你不是你想的那么棒，所以偶尔不妨微笑或自嘲。　　叠好的衣服整齐地放进抽屉，你就可以重新开始。下个礼拜，你会再忏悔一次。我们的人生就像洗衣机，不断循环，再怎么脱水，结束后也不会干。　　
12.那些爱你的人
　　星期六的下午，想听流行歌。　　流行歌是我的日记。每一首我喜欢的歌，都清楚地反映了我当时的心情。人生中每一个时期都有特别的歌，也许我在当下没有为心情写下只言片语，那时流行的歌却能立刻唤醒当时的景象和声音。每隔一阵子，我就会被生活追逐到麻痹的程度，满脑子只想到下一个会议在几点，手机还可以讲多久就没电。那时我会站到CD架旁边，踮起脚，拿起最上面一层的CD，甚至卡带，拍掉灰尘、打开音响，把自己抛回从前。　　听罗大佑的《之乎者也》，我想起了愤怒的1982年。那时身旁每一个人都虚伪，每一个三十岁以上的人都令我反胃。我挤在万人的中华体育馆演唱会，虽然是最高最便宜的位子，却觉得自己在歌声中变成上帝的儿子。听周蕙的《约定》，我回到1999年的台大医院，那时爸爸在住院，星期日的下午，我坐在病房外长廊的绿色塑料椅，仿佛听到爸爸从病房中传出的叮咛：“你我约定难过的往事不许提，也答应永远都不让对方担心，要做快乐的自己，照顾自己，就算有一天一个人孤寂。”　　回到从前是很重要的，它让我们重新建立起时间观念。时间很长，我们每天出生入死、奉为极致的事，几年后还记得的没剩几件。高中时认定要生死相许、天长地久的情人，三十岁后却想不起她的名字。沉溺于今天的喜怒哀乐，没有太大的意义。听过去喜欢的歌，我们会突然了解人活着不只是为了今天和明天，也为了过去和未来十年。人活着不是为了眼前的爱恨，也为了记忆中曾经爱过你的人。　　
13.杀E-mail
　　星期六的下午，想杀E-mail。　　我们的信箱中堆满了用不着、却丢不掉的E-mail。每隔一段时间，系统就会提醒我们容量不足，必须开始杀E-mail。丢不掉，有几个原因。有些E-mail讲的是生活琐事，必须处理但不紧急。朋友提醒你报税期限快到，你总是想明天再去处理就好。杂志社告诉你订阅即将到期，你一直要拖到没收到杂志才会续订。　　第二种E-mail是悬空的感情，你不愿拒绝却又不想太快答应。女友要跟你分手，你不接受所以不回信。Party上认识的女子要约你看电影，你拖延回复让战局混淆不清。　　第三种是暮鼓晨钟的提醒。推销色情产品的E-mail，主题是“GirlsWanttoKnowYou”。你第一次收到还偷偷感到荣幸，虽然永远也没胆子打那个电话，但硬是把那个E-mail留下。看着那些广告词生动的字句，你会体会到人的脆弱，手中的幸福更要珍惜。　　E-mail，让我们延迟做决定。让原本可以新鲜即兴的互动，充满了阴谋诡计。这个原本让我们更有效率的工具，最后却让我们的生活更加堵塞淤积。Maillist上很多名字，Inbox里爆炸的信息，很少变成了智能，很少变成了感情。　　开始杀E-mail，开始做决定。生活中最美好的感觉不是计划，而是执行。杀掉了不合时宜的E-mail，你的信箱和人生，才能重新回到fullcapacity。　　
14.用零钱
　　星期六的下午，想用零钱。　　零钱，是生活的残骸、粗心的物证。每天晚上回家，打开门、丢下钥匙、甩下包包、掏出口袋的皮夹和零钱洒在桌上。第二天一早买报纸，拿出的又是皮夹中的千元大钞。于是桌上的零钱越积越多，本来用碗，后来用桶，供在桌上密不通风，越重越懒得用。　　星期一到五，我们忙到没有心情花零钱。175块的出租车费，你口袋里绝对凑得出一张一百，一个五十、两个十块、一个五块，但你懒得慢慢去找。你宁可拿出千元大钞，让司机手忙脚乱地找钱。没错，用零钱是需要EQ的。你必须耐心、细心、心平气和、头脑清醒。我找女朋友，惟一的条件是她常常使用一块硬币。这年头还愿意接受和使用一块硬币，还会买价格的个位数不是“5”或“0”的产品的人，必定有独特的情操。　　很可惜，大部分的人在上班日都没有用一元的闲情。我们充满暴戾之气，低着头向前冲，不论在钱包、工作，或爱情，善于开辟新的战局，而没有兴趣整理旧的关系。星期六，是化繁为简、化整为零的好时机。没有时间压力，你可以放轻松地把口袋中的硬币拿到掌上，一个一个慢慢数。给店员刚好175、把硬币放在她掌上时碰到她的皮肤。用掉零钱，你的心情才能变成一个干净的整数。　　
15.便利商店
　　星期六的下午，想去便利商店。　　便利商店提供一样大部分的人都没有的东西：多重选择。任何一种平凡的产品，像杂志、饼干、饮料、关东煮，在便利商店都变成一组组争奇斗艳的族群。十种不同的饼干、三十种不同的饮料，你站在货架前，像选妃的帝王，看货架上拥挤的产品用炫奇的包装和折扣争取你的注意。你可以不买，也可以买很多。在便利商店，不管你做什么决定，代价都不大。就算是忘了买什么，走两步就有另一家。　　在现实人生，我们通常是“被选择”。很少有自由选择的机会，更少有反悔重来的奢侈。于是不论对工作或配偶，我们常常觉得自己卡在中间、进退两难。你不喜欢你的工作，但你一做三十年。你不爱你的老婆，婚姻像一碗干面。但我们不敢改变，我们都太胆怯，不相信逃出地狱可以直通天堂。我们总以为，地狱外面是撒旦的浴缸。　　这样窝囊的人生，终于可以在便利商店得到补偿。我心情不好时，喜欢到便利商店整面墙的冰箱前，看冰箱内的冷气把玻璃门吹得结霜，然后用手指在结霜的玻璃上写一个“Fuck”。接着打开门，让冷气吹在脸上。同一种碳酸饮料，有三十种不同的选择，每一种都只要二十元。你突然觉得，世界在宠爱你，在便利商店那几分钟，渺小的你也当上了皇帝。　　
16.情不自禁
　　星期六的下午，想情不自禁。　　星期六下午的国歌，应该是猫王的《情不自禁地爱上你》，歌词是：“我知道大家都说只有傻瓜才冲动恋爱，但我就是情不自禁地爱上了你”。情不自禁，是我们都忽略的美德。星期一到五，我们都维持着最高纪律，纯熟地自我克制。行为总是跟念头为难，表情总是跟心情作战。最亲近的对象，是一堆闷热的道德规范。白手起家盖起监牢，准时地把自己往里面关。我们学会深呼吸，学会不生气。也因此，我们变成木乃伊，变成干掉的原子笔。　　星期六是惟一解脱的机会。老板、伴侣、朋友、敌人，暂时都不在身边。你可以把自己交给本能，跟生命湿热地接吻。想吃巧克力，先假装像平常那样抵抗一下，然后一大口咬下去。想爱上邻居，先假装像平常一样在窗外苦等，然后一脚踢开门。　　情不自禁，就放开自己。星期六，让我们攻陷自己的巴士底监狱。　　
17.冰淇淋壳
　　星期六的下午，想吃冰淇淋壳。　　吃冰淇淋最快乐的一刻，不是咬到冰淇淋球的第一口，而是最后一口，嘴巴里混杂着剩余的冰淇淋和底部的饼干壳。不管是淡黄色或深褐色的壳，“脆”是必要条件。如果壳咬起来像纸杯，连前面的冰都会大打折扣。　　有时我买了冰淇淋，会把上面的冰淇淋球丢掉，直接吃壳和埋在壳内的冰淇淋。小时候会因此挨揍，妈妈骗我说这样浪费会娶不到老婆。现在长大了，不用百分之百听妈妈的话了，我的洗碗槽便倒满了冰淇淋，整个下午都是咬壳的清脆声音。　　我妈大概永远也不会同意：浪费，有时是一种最便宜的快乐。星期一到五，我们对自己都太吝啬。不敢对自己好、不敢花现钞、不敢吃太饱、不敢轻易达到高潮。我们在自己

理财产品乾坤大挪移：目标锁定俄罗斯土耳其

2008-07-07T05:18:00.000-07:00

资金流向东欧：筹码从0.2%到2%，俄罗斯打头阵
　　今年6月前的12个月中，摩根大通俄罗斯A股基金和荷兰银行A股俄罗斯基金均上涨约43%
　　欧洲新兴市场俄罗斯和土耳其近来备受投资机构看好，国内商业银行设计和选择投行的理财产品时，也将目光锁定在俄罗斯的能源、土耳其的基建和该国货币里拉升值的投资机会上。
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　　俄罗斯：石油、矿产、天然气
　　俄罗斯是众所周知的资源大国，拥有全球6.6%的石油储量和26.3%的天然气储量，是继沙特阿拉伯后，全球第二大产油国，产油量占全球12%。正是享受了高油价带来的好处，俄罗斯这两年经济保持快速增长势头。
　　投资者所熟悉的“金砖四国”包括中国、印度、巴西、俄罗斯，目前中国股市的市盈率20倍，巴西15倍，印度16倍，俄罗斯最低，为12倍。
　　晨星公司的数据显示，在截至今年6月前的12个月中，摩根大通俄罗斯A股基金上涨了近43%，荷兰银行A股俄罗斯基金上涨了43%，ThirdMillennium俄罗斯基金上涨了40％。俄罗斯证券市场的主要风向标RTS（The Russian Trading System Stock Exchange）指数近3年来已经上涨3倍，但是今年上半年则处于震荡格局，指数走平。
　　目前，投资机构对俄罗斯的看好不仅仅是因为石油。2008年1月，德意志银行首席经济学家雅罗斯拉夫•利索沃利克表示：“投资高峰和消费高峰，这是2008年俄罗斯经济高速增长的两个要素。”除了石油、矿产、天然气外，电信、房地产、银行等股票也被投资机构看好，但是能源领域仍占俄罗斯基准RTS指数的50%以上。
　　据WIND统计，目前国内涉及到俄罗斯投资的理财产品近15款，如最近汇丰银行发行的“保本投资产品一篮子可替代能源股票挂钩人民币”产品，挂钩的股票有俄罗斯天然气、Cameco公司、法国电力集团、东芝株式会社、意大利电力集团，预期最高收益16%。对于投资者来说，这类产品结构相对复杂，一旦其中有股票跌破初始价的94%，就会面临收益较低的风险。
　　另一类理财产品则是挂钩指数型的产品。如东亚银行一款“溢利宝”产品挂钩4只指数基金(ETF)，包括参与恒生H股、俄罗斯及巴西市场的3只看涨基金，1只参与美国市场的看跌基金。这款产品结构同样微妙，其收益取决于“看涨基金中最逊色的基金表现—看跌基金表现”的结果，从目前来看，该产品由于看涨基金中最逊色的恒生H股指数下跌1.64%，看空基金却上涨3.56%，导致平均收益为零，所以哪怕俄罗斯基金同期上涨20.69%也未影响产品收益。
　　理财师提醒投资者，如果看好投资标的前景，那么要选择收益与之同涨的理财产品。某外资银行零售部高层就向理财周报记者直言：“我觉得银行不该向客户推荐收益结构复杂的产品，因为他们看不懂而容易受到内容诱惑。”至于银行热衷于这类结构复杂的理财产品，该人士表示，“可能各个银行在不同领域的定价权不同，有些银行在股票型产品方面具有定价权，有些银行则在商品类具有定价权。”
　　那么到底有无跟随俄罗斯相关指数同涨的理财产品？据记者统计后发现，除了直接购买相关的QDII产品，如金砖四国、欧洲能源等基金外，也有一类理财产品值得投资者关注。如荷兰银行曾推出过“2008年全球能源系列天然气股票价格指数挂钩澳元产品”，该指数跟踪俄罗斯天然工业股份公司等全球15家天然气上市公司股票，产品最终收益为指数平均涨幅×130%，比如产品到期后，该指数平均涨幅为30%，那么产品最终收益为39%，如果指数下跌了，产品收益为零。对看好天然气等能源的投资者，完全可以通过这个产品来参与到全球投资市场。

土耳其：基建、农业和货币升值
　　在欧洲新兴市场中，除了“金砖四国”之一的俄罗斯外，另一个新兴市场概念VISTA(越南、印尼、南非、土耳其和阿根廷)的成员之一土耳其，近期也受到市场追捧。来自高盛的一份海外统计报告，全球资金在东欧的比重由2004年的0.2%大幅增加至现在的2.0%——四年间增加了9倍，目前并未呈现放缓迹象。其中大部分资金流入了俄罗斯，小部分流入了土耳其和波兰。中东和非洲地区的资金配置比重也有所上升，但幅度小于新兴欧洲市场。
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　　投行认为，土耳其作为中东和欧洲的桥梁，目前中东是当今基础设施投资建设的又一热点，土耳其的一家叫做TekfenHolding的上市公司便被投资机构看好，它涉及农业、基础建设和其他一些领域。目前土耳其的金融业在伊斯兰世界处于领先地位，而且外国直接投资以及收购合并活动也理想。
　　另一方面，土耳其的货币里拉兑美元的升值也非常迅速。去年开始，国内就推出新兴市场货币挂钩的理财产品。如交通银行(601328,股吧)推出的“得利宝”深红2号理财产品”，便是挂钩巴西里尔(BRL)、俄国卢布(RUB)、印度卢比(INR)和土耳其里拉(TRY)等新兴市场的货币篮子对美元的增值，来获取收益。类似的产品在中资银行如交行、上海银行、深圳平安银行等比较多见，有些产品的最高收益达18%。
　　商业银行如何选择投资标的？
　　对于银行来说，这么多的市场、这么多的投资标的，究竟是如何选择的呢？哪类投资标的更能反映石油上涨的传导影响呢？
　　某外资银行个人金融部高层向记者表示：“这主要取决于银行对投资标的物的考虑。每个连接标的都有波动性，与波动相关的因素银行都需要考虑进去。比如，有一些商品目前已经在历史高位，它的后市可能出现回调；再如天气原因对一些农产品(000061,股吧)的直接打击等。”她进一步表示，“比如现在对于石油的后市看法，市场有不同声音，这时银行需要自己的判断，我们不一定会直接选择与石油挂钩，可以找与石油有上下游关系的行业，如新能源。同时，选择何种投资标的也会有考虑，比如股票类产品会面临市场波动的风险，我们可能就会选择指数型产品。”
　　据记者了解，全球投资的能力各个银行之间也有差异。有些能力较高的银行，它不仅可以分享全球的研究方向，而且往往在国内总部设有产品研究部，每个人负责不同的领域，比如美股、商品、港股、黄金、期货等不同领域，然后根据中国客户的需求以及全球潜在的投资热点及时推出理财产品，一旦确定方向后，理财产品的出炉时间很短，大概前后一个星期。

银行澳元理财产品被看好荷银半年累积收益15%

2008-07-07T05:17:00.000-07:00

澳元产品收益8% 荷银交行最丰富
　　中外资银行共发行澳元理财产品158款，其中有128款在今年上半年发行
　　中国银行(601988,股吧)澳元产品最多
　　受澳大利亚消费数据意外利好影响，澳元/美元重上0.96关口，甚至挑战25年新高0.9667。银行澳元理财产品也随之火热，以8%—10%的收益率成为近期理财市场的一道风景线。
推荐阅读
 专家学者：银行“贱卖论”根本不成立
信用卡非法套现调查
招行中国平安跌停全真相
内地银行整合规则：贵买贱卖？
银行股：熊市最后一颗子弹
央行货币从紧猛药何以不灵？
招行购永隆：每股赚1分5厘买卖
有奖调查：投资者信心现拐点？
　　据WIND统计，2007年以来，国内中外资银行共发行澳元理财产品158款，其中有128款在今年上半年发行，27款是在2007年发行。其中，发行较多的是中国银行和建设银行(601939,股吧)，分别为36款和19款。
　　但是，中国银行和建设银行推出的澳元理财产品结构比较单一，90%以上的产品属于挂钩利率的传统外汇理财产品，产品收益在5.5%左右，与现在同样产品8%—10%的收益相差3个百分点以上。

荷银澳元产品
　　半年累积收益10%至15%
　　在建设银行较早推出澳元理财产品之后，荷兰银行在2007年5月底推出了一款澳元理财产品，与建行、中行产品不同，该产品选择与股票挂钩浮动收益的理财产品，预期最高收益46.1%，主要与荣智健的中信泰富(0267.HK)、李嘉诚的长江实业(0001.HK)、郭鹤年的嘉里建设(0683.HK)等股票挂钩，产品期限3年，最终收益取决于所挂钩股票的涨幅。
推荐阅读
 专家学者：银行“贱卖论”根本不成立
信用卡非法套现调查
招行中国平安跌停全真相
内地银行整合规则：贵买贱卖？
银行股：熊市最后一颗子弹
央行货币从紧猛药何以不灵？
招行购永隆：每股赚1分5厘买卖
有奖调查：投资者信心现拐点？
　　据WIND统计，荷兰银行共发行了20款澳元理财产品，数量上仅排在中国银行、交通银行(601328,股吧)之后。
　　从2008年开始，荷兰银行则集中推出了“抵御通胀”系列理财产品，挂钩黄金、农产品(000061,股吧)指数、能源、以及一篮子强势货币。据荷兰银行（中国）有限公司消费金融部副总裁、高级投资产品经理吴蔚透露，“之前发行的产品累积收益大概在10%-15%之间。”
　　吴蔚向理财周报记者表示，“其实我们在去年开始就看好澳元，它本身作为商品货币受益于这几年的商品牛市。对于零售客户来讲，前几年他们手中的外汇主要都是美元，我们在对客户进行资产配置的时候，除了进行资产类别上的配置，也需要对币种的配置。”
　　“当时，有一些客户并不理解，我们于是对他们做了不少‘洗脑’功课，”吴蔚表示道，“那时我们推出的外汇理财产品50%以上已经是欧元、澳元等升值速度超过人民币的产品。”
　　目前从市场上发行的理财产品来看，挂钩同样的内容，以美元为币种的理财产品和以澳元为币种的理财产品收益相差在3—5个百分点之间。
　　据介绍，“比如同样挂钩石油投资标的，以美元计价的理财产品保底收益为3%，但澳元的保底收益6%。这是由于澳元利率高，我们购买的零息债券自然也享受高利率，能够给客户设计出更好的保底收益。”
　　另一家在澳元产品上表现果敢作风的属交通银行。2007年6月6日，交行自主开发的首款以澳元计价的QDII产品“得利宝QDII-澳视群雄”。交行个人金融部高级经理施峥嵘表示，“澳元、新西兰元是我们看好的货币”。
　　据WIND统计，自2007年10月以来，交通银行连续推出了27款澳元理财产品，除一半是固定收益产品外，另一半是保本浮动收益产品，挂钩于德银商品化指数、芝加哥农产品期货等，产品期限2年、1年、半年、3个月不等。

警惕澳元中长期压力
　　“如果错过了前期发行的澳元理财产品，现在再购买是不是为期已晚？”有投资者担忧道。
　　这种担忧不无道理。目前，澳元/美元创下了25年来新高，并有市场人士认为有望迈向1.00的关口。但是澳大利亚国内也面临着通货膨胀、现在汇率又处于高位必然面临短期回调压力。法国巴黎银行便认为，“澳大利亚对亚洲的需求依赖上升，亚洲需求的放缓将不利于澳元，澳元存在下行风险。”
推荐阅读
 专家学者：银行“贱卖论”根本不成立
信用卡非法套现调查
招行中国平安跌停全真相
内地银行整合规则：贵买贱卖？
银行股：熊市最后一颗子弹
央行货币从紧猛药何以不灵？
招行购永隆：每股赚1分5厘买卖
有奖调查：投资者信心现拐点？
　　“澳元兑美元从去年以来升值已过16%，现在对待澳元要比较谨慎，中长期可能存在压力。”吴蔚表示，“下半年，客户可以适当关注起美元来。”
　　虽然，澳元可能面临调整的压力，但是从目前来看，它仍旧是市场上最热门的理财产品。相当多的理财师建议，可配置固定收益的澳元理财产品，目前这类产品的收益在8%-10%，而且期限较短，资金流动性较强。

间接受益高油价挂钩能源类理财产品实现高收益

2008-07-07T05:15:00.000-07:00

去年同期，原油每桶仅为69美元左右，如今突破140美元大关，一年之间原油的涨幅超过100%，在油价将会创出新高的呼声中，石油、天然气等能源成了投资的明星，不少银行纷纷推出了挂钩油价、天然气、黄金等能源类理财产品。据不完全统计，交通银行(601328,股吧)、民生银行(600016,股吧)等都推出过挂钩原油的理财产品，这些产品目前都保持着理想的收益率。6月底，荷兰银行就发行了三款人民币、美元、澳元款挂钩能源类产品，预期收益都在10%以上。
　　虽然挂钩油价的理财产品，有望分享高油价带来的收益，但不意味油价上涨一定会带来高收益。对于此类产品，理财师认为，投资者要了解产品的设计。目前挂钩石油的理财产品中，直接挂钩油价的几乎没有，只是通过油价上涨层层传导，期望大涨不太现实。业内专家提醒投资者，无论油价、黄金等相关产品的走势如何，在购买挂钩类理财产品时，一定要仔细研究产品说明书，了解挂钩对象，要分析挂钩对象符合约定条件的概率有多大，弄清楚相关约定。
　　荷兰银行
　　全球能源系列石油挂钩澳元12个月
　　理财币种：澳元
　　收益能力：预期最高年收益为18%。
　　挂钩标的：纽约商业交易所上市交易的美国西得克萨斯中质原油期货合约。
　　点评：产品为保本浮动收益型，收益设计看涨原油期货价格。投资期内，原油期货价格涨幅超过20%，则投资者可以获得18%的年收益率，但是如果原油期货价格下跌或者涨幅小于等于20%，则投资者可以获得6%的最低收益率。

荷兰银行
　　石油挂钩结构性存款人民币款
　　理财币种：人民币
　　收益能力：预期最高年收益率为10%
　　挂钩标的：国际市场石油价格
　　点评：该产品本金安全，投资风险较低，最大的亮点是投资者有保底收益。但有一点需注意的是，该产品的获利条款过于苛刻，并且10%预期收益并无明显的优势，加上以人民币认购的投资者，到期时收回的是人民币本金和美元收益，可能还会面临一定的汇率风险。
　　汇丰银行
　　一篮子可替代能源股票挂钩澳元
　　理财币种：澳元
　　收益能力：预期最高收益18%
　　挂钩标的：产品的收益挂钩的股票为：俄罗斯天然气公司、法国电力公司、东芝株式会社、意大利电力集团。
　　点评：产品保本，资金安全性高，投资期两年且不得提前赎回，资金流动性较差，产品自动赎回机制也限制了资金获得高于7%收益的机会。产品的收益设计预期看涨挂钩股票。

民生银行
　　“全球矿业精选配置”
　　理财币种：人民币
　　收益能力：A款稳健型(100%保本)及B款进取型(90%保本)预期最高年收益率分别为8%和18%
　　挂钩标的：与全球四大矿业巨头公司(必和必拓、英美资源、力拓、淡水河谷)股票表现挂钩。

　　点评：挂钩标的成长性高，并且设置了自动终止机制及B款进取型产品的本金三重保护机制。
　　民生银行
　　非凡理财·黄金原油挂钩
　　理财币种：美元
　　收益能力：预期收益率22.4%
　　挂钩标的：本金分别投资伦敦金和WTI原油期货
　　点评：该产品是保本型理财产品，投资期限较短只有6个月，并且该产品本金分别挂钩两个标的，收益分别计算，尽可能地保证到期获得收益。同时产品在设计上保留了黄金与原油的下行空间，使得投资方向明确且不乏灵活性，做到挂钩标的在一定区间内上涨、下跌客户都有获利的空间。

东亚银行
　　溢利宝系列7全天候油矿资源主题
　　理财币种：人民币
　　预期收益：9.5%
　　挂钩标的：挂钩4只能源概念的港股：中石化、中海油、江西铜业(600362,股吧)及紫金矿业(601899,股吧)。

　　点评：本金安全，投资风险较小，但获利条件较为苛刻：所有挂钩股票须同时大涨或大跌，投资者才可能获得收益，否则收益为0。虽可中途提前赎回，但本金和收益均不获保证，因此产品流动性较差。
　　交通银行
　　得利宝浓青5号澳元2年期D款
　　理财币种：澳元
　　预期收益：不封顶
　　挂钩标的：与德银商业指数未来8个季度的市场表现的平均值挂钩。德银商品指数投资主要投资方向为四类大宗交易商品,其中包括能源、农产品(000061,股吧)、贵重金属和工业金属。
　　点评：该产品是保本型理财产品，投资者到期不存在本金损失的风险，但最终收益有可能会低于投资者的预期。

中国银行
　　澳视群雄-金上加金黄金挂钩产品
　　理财币种：澳元
　　收益能力：预期收益率12%
　　挂钩标的：挂钩未来一年国际黄金价格表现
　　点评：该产品最大的优势在于，无论未来一年的国际黄金价格是上涨或是下跌，投资者均有机会获得6%以上的投资收益，并且从该产品的挂钩标的分析，未来黄金价格出现大涨的概率较高，因此该产品的收益优势非常明显。

　　华夏银行
　　慧盈6号人民币产品
　　理财币种：人民币
　　收益能力：预期收益率25%
　　挂钩标的：挂钩3只国际商品价格表现，分别是黄金、小麦和石油。
　　点评：该产品是95%保本型理财产品，即如果上述3只商品价格未来没有出现上涨，则投资者有可能最大损失本金的5%，并且未来上述3只国际商品持续增长的概率较大，因此该产品较适合有一定风险承受能力的稳健型投资者购买。

银行理财产品信誉危机仍存新品几乎断档

2008-07-07T05:13:00.000-07:00

　　虽然没有股票市场那样暴涨暴跌，令人感到惊心动魄，但是银行理财产品在今年上半年也走出了一条不平凡之路。早在股市如日中天之时，银行理财产品以较高的预期收益率受到投资者的追捧。今年年初，股指开始向下调整，部分理财产品风险凸显，个别产品一度出现清盘现象。此后，银行产品还集中暴露了产品信誉危机、产品设计瓶颈以及风险测评过于笼统等问题，直接影响理财产品的健康发展。

　　忽悠客户
　　产品信誉危机凸显
　　“这款短期产品年化收益率为3.2%，保证本金，但收益有可能存在风险。”昨日，北京北三环某银行营业部在向记者介绍一款理财产品时这样表示。而在此之前，很多理财经理并没有履行自身的职责。
　　“这款产品稳赚不赔，收益率在10%以上，上不封顶。”早在今年3月份，很多银行的理财经理都以上述方式推销新发行的理财产品。
　　这样的推销吸引了很多想投资但一知半解的投资者，结果超过50%的产品收益无法达到预期承诺的高度，理财产品遭遇严重的信誉危机。截至目前，忽悠投资者购买与其风险承受能力不匹配的营销案例依然存在。

收益“露”负
　　银行理财产品惊现清盘
　　由于理财经理的“忽悠”，多数投资者在不了解产品隐含风险的情况下盲目投资此类产品，结果收益遭遇严重缩水，个别产品本金不保。而早在去年12月份，就已经有投资者反映银行理财产品收益为零的现象。

　　进入2008年，银行理财产品收益门事件成为银行业无法回避的问题。据记者不完全统计，仅今年上半年，理财产品涉嫌零收益或负收益的就有浦发、东亚、民生、兴业等。
　　同时，由于对周边市场缺乏深刻的了解，导致上半年一些挂钩境外股市的理财产品受到重创。其中，民生银行(600016,股吧)的QDII产品“港基直通车”，因触及产品净值下限而被迫清盘。另外，截至6月25日，汇丰（中国）的结构性票据类QDII产品中，只有挂钩贝莱德美林世界矿业基金的是正收益11.93%，其余全处于亏损状态。

股市降温
　　打新产品光环不再
　　“您看点别的产品吧，现在我们已经不发行打新理财产品了。”在记者咨询业务时，某银行经理这样表示。
　　股市转熊，早先风光无限的打新理财产品已经卸去头上光环。公开资料显示，今年1至4月份，新股申购类理财产品发行了103款，而在五六两个月份，此类产品发行数量缩水至10只以内。

　　如果单从数量上衡量，今年前半年理财产品发行总额与去年持平。据Wind资讯系统统计，今年1至6月，全国共有53家商业银行发行理财产品总计2257款，接近2007年全年的2404款。
　　但是，在理财产品收益门后，银监会下令各银行整改，理财产品市场一度出现发售断档。从人民币理财产品看，目前几乎所有产品都投向了债券、货币市场或者集合资金信托贷款计划等领域。
　　限期整改
　　风控测评仍存漏洞
　　今年4月，银监会下发了各大银行对理财产品限期整改的通知。通知下发后，原先被忽视的风险揭示成为理财经理推销产品前的必修课。此外，各大银行还依据自身的客户群体，制定了风险测评试题。
　　记者走时访发现，不仅银行提高了对风险的揭示，投资者也将心理预期从“渴望高收益”降到了“保本低收益”。市场应需而动，在53家银行推出的2257款理财产品中，保本型产品1385款，占比61.36%，成为市场主流；非保本产品872款，占比38.64%。而对银行来说，风险控制是一个长期的过程。记者发现，截至目前，银行的风控测评仍存在过于笼统、测试题分数不透明等多项不足。
　　编后：银行理财产品作为一项稳健的投资渠道，其在产品设计、产品定位、产品创新、风险控制等方面将如何发展，是广大投资者非常关心的问题，本报将在明日的报道中对一些机构的研究报告予以解读并邀请专家对理财产品市场予以点评。

保守稳健成避风港高风险理财产品少有人问津

2008-07-07T05:11:00.003-07:00

由于股市的持续低迷，证券投资人气尽失，从而整个理财市场也受到了很大的冲击，从投资者角度来看，投资信心已近乎崩溃。在近期，高回报往往代表的是高风险，已经少有人问津；相反，为了寻求理财投资的避风港，保本固定收益类产品以及普通传统型寿险逐渐开始升温，越来越受到投资者的追捧了。

　银行理财主风格：稳健+保守
　　●市场分析：银行理财产品发行的产品无论是在投资标的还是在本金安全上都做了很大的调整。其中，保本浮动收益型和保本固定收益型产品占据了绝大部分比例。
　　●理财提醒：投资者想从这些产品中获得超过10%的年化收益水平，可能性相当小。
　　目前银行理财市场以稳健、保守的特征为主，同时，在“理财新规”出台后，保守理财更是成为投资者的主要投资风格。
　　从人民币理财产品看，基本所有产品都投向了债券、货币市场或者集合资金信托贷款计划等领域，投资者想从这些产品中获得超过10%的年化收益水平，可能性相当小。但是由于此类产品收益一般能得到保障，所以在现阶段股市持续低迷的情况下，这些产品的推出无疑为投资者提供了一个“避风港”。2008年6月份发行的436款银行理财产品中，保本固定收益类产品是152款，保本浮动收益类是137款，非保本浮动收益类是147款。很明显，保本型理财产品的发行比例占据了总发行银行产品数量的66.28％，无论是绝对数量还是比例上较以往都有了很大的提升。其中发行的银行产品主要投资方向以信贷资产和债券票据为主。
　　以2008年6月份推出的几款人民币理财产品来看，基本的年化收益率均在5.00％左右，如兴业银行(601166,股吧)推出的“万利宝”陆陆发系列产品，其三款产品分别为116天、148天、158天，其平均收益率为4.70％，无论是在流动性还是产品的收益方面，都有较好的保障。又例如民生银行(600016,股吧)推出的“非凡理财”T116理财计划，属于资产管理类人民币理财产品，拥有专业理财团队实现专家理财，预期年收益率为6.00％，理财期限为12个月，也是较能够吸引投资者的银行理财产品。

●市场分析：对于基金产品领域而言，基金惨遭大面积赎回以及新发基金纷纷延长募集期都是不可避免的，甚至可以这么说，2008年基金发行市场的低迷程度已回落到2005年的水平。

　　●理财提醒：盛利配置、天治品质优选(行情,净值,基金吧)、金鹰中小盘等7只基金份额均不足1亿份，距离清盘底线只是一步之遥。
　　今年陆续发行的新基金，据第一理财网产品数据库统计，截至2008年6月27日，已经有14只新基金延长了募集期，很多市场专业人士均认为今年的基金发行市场的低迷情况堪比2005年的熊市。
　　纵观历年来总的市场变化，我们不难看出，市场的持续低迷，尤其在熊市，基金往往会出现大面积的赎回现象和较多基金延长募集期的情况。例如2005年熊市中，由于市场的过度低迷，导致了20只基金出现了延长募集期的情况。同样的情况又出现在了2008年中，目前已经出现了14只新基金延长了募集期，如果理财市场仍旧持续低迷，那么预计下半年这一现象仍将继续。
　　新发基金延长募集期的主要原因是值得我们投资者关注的，可以这么说，投资者信心的大幅缺失以及新基金发行过于密集是导致基金延长募集期的两个主要原因。目前，股市的大跌，理财产品收益的不理想，这些都必然导致投资者信心的缺失，从而进一步影响了新基金的发行。据相关统计数据显示，2008年新基金的发行密度是前所未有的，到目前为止已经有57只新基金获批，在市场人气如此低迷的情况下，扎堆的新基金发行必然会相互影响彼此的销量，从而导致募集期的一再延长。
　　据第一理财网相关数据统计，目前355只基金中，已跌破1元发行价的基金为181只，占到基金总规模的50．9％。同时，7只基金净值已跌至0．5元左右。盛利配置、天治品质优选、金鹰中小盘等7只基金份额均不足1亿份，距离清盘底线只是一步之遥。

保险投连账户缩水：传统寿险重获青睐
　　●市场分析：意外险和终身寿险的追加保额日渐增多，纯保障传统型寿险产品的销售比重开始增大。
　　●理财提醒：对于保险产品领域而言，投连险账户可谓是损失惨重，据第一理财网不完全数据统计，某些投连险的跌幅已将近30.00％。

　　相当多的保险公司认为目前市场不确定因素过多，仍存在较大的风险，在如此大的风险压力下，各寿险公司或将开始回归传统型寿险。
　　根据第一理财网不完全数据统计，虽然2007年很多投连账户的收益在30％至40％，而且相对的表现和业绩在2007年下半年都不错，但是由于最近股市的持续低迷，很多投连险价格都跌破了初始价，而且较多的投连账户亏本程度在10％至40％之间。出现这样的大幅亏损情况，对于应该给客户提供保障职能的保险而言，是一个不小的冲击。
　　可以发现，对于理应更多提供风险保障功能的保险，部分产品其实根本不具备保障功能，而是一味地将风险集中到了股票市场。这样的理财市场必将存在较大的风险。
　　受到投资市场急剧波动的影响，去年很多热卖投连险、万能险的保险公司正面临着较大的经营压力。目前，市场上一些热卖投连险、万能险的保险公司今年也开始转轨，重点开卖传统型寿险产品。
　　我们不得不承认，随着股市的震荡，投资者会慢慢地对理财产品投资收益重新审视，而且关注度也开始逐步理性化。据相关数据统计，近一段时间，意外险和终身寿险的追加保额日渐增多，纯保障传统型寿险产品的销售比重开始增大。

●操作指导
　　有望跑赢CPI的外汇理财产品
　　投资者普遍心理都是希望获得相对高的收益，但从目前较为低迷的理财市场来看，很多银行系的理财产品的收益都不是很理想，真正能够跑赢CPI的产品更是少之又少。根据第一理财网不完全数据统计，6月中旬至6月底发行的人民币理财产品的预期收益率均不超过5.60％，这显然低于对2008年CPI数据的普遍预期水平。因此，人民币理财产品在预期收益率方面显得较为弱势。
　　所以，在目前的理财形势下，外汇理财产品的吸引力更强一些，据第一理财网产品库数据统计，外汇理财产品目前普遍的预期收益率在6.50％左右，最高的预期收益率则可高达9.00％。以外汇理财产品的投资币种划分来看，澳元理财产品的预期收益率尤为突出，其预期年收益率在7.50％以上的产品比例相当高。可以这样说，目前外汇理财产品，尤其是澳元理财产品，可以给投资者带来较高的稳定收益。所以，这类投资机会不容错过。
　　从目前的市场来看，银行发行的澳元理财产品以保本固定收益产品为主，其投资回报率远高于其他币种的保本固定收益产品。
　　●理财建议：在CPI高涨的背景下，对于外币，尤其是欧元、澳元等强势货币而言，投资者不必急于结汇，可直接持有进行理财，从而获得一定的收益。如果投资者手中持有的是目前相对走弱的美元、港元等币种，可以选择一部分兑换成欧元、澳元等强势货币，或进行投资谋取收益，或持有货币等待一定的增值空间。

选购适当的信托票据类产品
　　对于不同的家庭和不同的投资者而言，理财方式也是各不相同的，但是合理配置投资组合有效抵御风险、实现资产的最大收益是他们共同的目标。正因为如此，市场的大势把握尤其重要，如果投资者盲目地追涨或是杀跌，往往会损失惨重，更达不到其预期的投资效果。

　　目前，据不完全数据统计，信托票据类理财产品最近一段时间可谓炙手可热，招商银行(600036,股吧)、建设银行(601939,股吧)等推出的几款信托票据类理财产品均上柜即告售罄，排长队购买此类理财产品的投资者往往空手而归。
　　那为什么在如今股市持续低迷，理财市场较为悲观的情况下，信托票据类理财产品会受到如此的欢迎，会出现如此火爆的情况呢？总的来说，风险低、预期收益高、盘子小是信托类理财产品受到高度关注的主因。在目前的理财市场中，该类产品更能够给投资者避风港般的感觉。
　　如杭州商业银行推出的“幸福理财”0807期个人理财计划，其首先保障本金安全，理财期限为190日，预期最高年收益率5.00%，很好地满足了客户资金安排地需求。又比如北京银行(601169,股吧)推出的多款信托贷款类理财产品，较为印象深刻的超越系列2008210号无担保信托贷款产品，其理财期限仅仅为17天，预期最高年收益5.00％。
　　所谓信托类理财产品，就是企业委托银行进行募集并得到资金，取得类似于贷款的作用。一般来讲，银行会对企业的资产、资金投向进行评估，从而帮助其募集。票据类理财产品则是投资于银行间市场、债券市场流通的债券、债券回购及商业汇票，正因为该类产品拥有如此的特性，所以与偏股型理财产品相比较，其风险可谓是微不足道。因此，信托票据类理财产品的确是目前较适宜投资的品种。
　　●理财建议：在股市持续低迷，理财市场较为悲观的情况下，适当规避风险是十分有必要的，拥有风险低、预期收益高、盘子小等特性的信贷资产类与流通票据类产品是投资者规避风险的较佳理财产品。（第一理财网理财分析师）

近半信用卡用户每周使用信用卡

2008-07-07T05:11:00.001-07:00

据CTR市场研究最新发布的《中国城市居民信用卡使用状况及品牌表现研究报告》显示，近五成的中国信用卡用户每周至少使用一次信用卡。
　　通过对中国信用卡用户用卡行为的进一步分析发现，当前用户主要是将信用卡作为传统支付工具的替代品，而信用卡所特有的循环信用、分期付款、现金
　　分期等业务的使用比例相对较低。CTR市场研究研究报告显示，在信用卡各项业务中，透支提现的使用比例最高，达29.1%，其他各项业务的使用比例均未超过两成。

银行房贷还款方式因加息预期而产生多种演变

2008-07-07T05:10:00.002-07:00

越来越明确的加息预期，越来越低迷的楼市成交，被房地产商“绑架”的银行最近的日子可不好过。
　　各银行除了不断推出房贷新品之外，也加大小额个人信用贷款的创新。专家提醒投资者，房贷市场创新品种虽然很多，但是无非是从最基本的“等额本金”、“等额本息”两种还款方式演变而来，这两种方式是投资者选择的起点。
　　房贷新品瞄准下半年加息预期
　　“等额本金”还款方式是将本金每月等额偿还，然后根据剩余本金计算利息，这种方式在初期还款的金额较多，随后会递减。“等额本息”还款方式是在还款期内，每月偿还同等数额的贷款，包括本金和利息，等额本息还款，贷款人支付的利息相对较高。
　　目前比较多的还款方式是“等额本息”式还款，根据其演变而来的创新产品有很多，如建行上海分行推出的“定额供”和“定期供”，深发展的“气球贷”，光大银行的“天天省”等。这类产品还有一个特点，就是主动调整结构应对下半年加息预期。
　　建行“定额供”在“等额本息”还款的基础上，借款人每月按约定的金额归还贷款，月供不随利率变化而变化，多还的本金直接冲减贷款本金。如果加息，借款人可以和建行约定月供低于“等额本息”月供额度。
　　深发展的“气球贷”是借款人享受3-5年期利率水平，同时又可选择较长的期限来计算月供，将贷款本金的一部分放在最后一期一次性偿还，该产品缺点是在还贷末期容易造成较大的还款压力。
　　另外一类是由“等额本金”还款方式演变而来，如工行的“按周供”，将以往按月还款的方式改为按周还款，可选择“双周”或者“单周”，这样是为了提高还款频率，使得每期还款中本金所占比例更多，利息所占比例相应减少，本金减少速度加快，因此，还款的周期被缩短，同时也节省利息总支出。
　　光大银行的“天天省”也是提高还款频率的还贷方式，操作模式是客户将自有资金按照一定规则用作提前偿还贷款，银行在次日将客户前日偿还的金额划拨还款账户，这一还款方式最大的特点就是在节省贷款利息的同时，还能满足临时资金需求。
　　此外，各家银行会根据贷款者具体情况上浮或下浮贷款利率，上浮最少为10%。如果贷款者买房非第一套房，或者个人信用记录不是太好，上浮的幅度有可能会高到30%甚至40%。如果购房者购买的是第一套住房，且过去信用记录较好，银行则会在贷款基准利率上进行下调，下调的下限为基准利率的8.5折。
　　个贷转房贷解决资金缺口
　　一位外资银行理财师告诉记者，今年国家银根紧缩的态度不太可能有太大的转变，对于现在的市场，外资银行相对比较谨慎，没有过多的房贷新产品出现，在个人信贷方面倒是有一些创新。

如渣打银行推出的最高额度为人民币20万元的小额信贷，月薪3000元以上者就可以申请，年利率为7.9%-9.9%。虽然这类贷款明确规定不可用于“不动产买卖或股本权益性投资”，但是，记者从其他外资银行了解到，这类贷款最后还是流动到房地产投资方面。
　东亚银行新推出的个人信用贷款，贷款额度最高为50万元或者是贷款者月收入的6倍，以这两个条件的较低者为准，贷款利率为人民银行公布的同期基准利率的1.3倍。

　　该外资银行理财师说:“现在房地产市场环境非常复杂，在很多投资者观望和等待的同时，同样也有投资者认为这个时候是好的入市时机。”
　　该理财师提到，高端客户对于别墅一直情有独钟，这部分客户对于生活质量非常在意，他们认为，高档别墅市场价格回调幅度不会太大。这类人一般会抵押出一部分资产，至于之后的流动性问题，他们通常考虑利用个人贷款来解决。
　　这类高端客户的特点是有较高的固定收入来源，只是短期需要解决流动性；这类人群还款能力稳定，银行也会设置相关条件来筛选优质的客户群体。
　　生活质量
　　是选择还款方式的重要依据
　　“贷款者首先要明确手头资金是否充裕，立足自身财务状况，充分考虑资金的流动性需要、家庭资产负债状况以及自身承担风险的能力，在此基础上再选择适合自己的房贷产品。”一位东亚银行的理财师说道。
　　家庭现金流较充裕的人士，可以选择早期还贷；资金不够充分的人则可以选择期限较长的还款方式，最好是固定利率的还贷方式，以减轻潜在的加息给未来还款带来的压力。
　　上述人士还谈到，生活质量也是选择房贷还款方式的重要依据，因为贷款期限较长，最后的利息部分可能需要还出“多一套房子的钱”。但如果保证生活质量不下降太大，还是应选择还款时间较长的还款方式，在以后资金充裕的时候再提前还款，减少利息。
　　比如建行上海分行提供的“定期供”房贷，借款人在借款期限内每月偿还贷款利息，按约定的期限间隔等额偿还贷款本金。“定期供”比较适用借款人有阶段性的大额收入。
　　另外，理财师强调，那些想将个人信用贷款贷出来用于房地产投资的人，应明确个人贷款并不能贷出来很多资金，对于投资房产没有太大意义，并且银行还会走较长的审批过程。目前已经有些小额信用贷款出现部分坏账，银行未来在审批小额个人信用贷款时会更加严格。

近半数白领持卡人月刷卡额过2000

2008-07-07T05:10:00.001-07:00

7月6日，腾讯网发布《网民信用卡用户行为报告》，详细描述了消费能力较强的白领人群的信用卡使用习惯、行为偏好、消费领域等特点。据统计，41%的白领信用卡用户月均刷卡消费超2000元。

北京信用卡非法套现内幕调查：中介很忙很疯狂

2008-07-07T05:07:00.000-07:00

据中国银联的统计，仅2007年上半年，因伪冒申请信用卡造成刷卡银行的损失占全部欺诈损失的80.68%。全国共立信用卡诈骗案件1171起，涉案金额达到4461.36万元。
　　“你得提前预约！”信用卡中介张冉(化名)在电话里对佯装要办理信用卡套现业务的记者说。在信用卡套现圈内，张冉的生意很红火。“如果你在下午四五点钟找我，对不起，我今天就拿不出钱来了。”张冉停了一下说，“找我的人实在是太多了”！

　　在银监会发布关于信用卡套现活跃风险提示通知一个月后，信用卡套现依旧疯狂。
　　伴随着中国信用卡用户的飞速增长，围绕着信用卡的诸多问题被逐渐放大，信用卡用户以及银行也正在面临越来越大的法律风险和经济风险。
　　信用卡中介很忙很疯狂
　　6月26日上午9点，1万。9点30分，5万。10点，1万。
　　下午1点30分，2.5万。3点30分，1万。
　　……
　　张冉拿出一张纸，纸上写着上述数字。
　　这是张冉在26日的支出表，左边是和信用卡持卡人约好套现的时间，而右边则是将要兑换的现金。
　　他粗略地算了一下，他要在26日支出18万元。而他每天给自己定下的支出上限是20万元，也就是说如果一天的总支出超出20万元，他将会把多余的客户约在第二天套现。
　　每天都是在和卡、现金打交道，这就是信用卡中介张冉的生活。
　　他的另一个身份是一家涂料公司的老板，而张冉正是利用这种身份，办理了信用卡套现不可或缺的银联POS机。
　　据了解，POS机的申办过程并不复杂，据银联商务有限公司业务部的一位工作人员介绍说，只需本人向银联提供营业执照、法定代表人身份证件、税务登记证复印件各一份；提供与营业执照相符的用于资金归集的银行账户，并交纳1000元的机具押金(撤机时将全额返还)；最后签订正式的受理合约书并填写入网商户信息登记表即可派人上门办理。
　　信用卡中介正是利用POS机虚拟购物来实现信用卡套现的功能。
　　张冉不定期地将自己信用卡中介的身份通过短信、e-mail、论坛、网站等方式推销出去。他拥有自己的宣传主页，其中宣称“我们是专业的信用卡服务机构，为拥有信用卡的客户提供多种提现服务”。
　　类似的网站数不胜数，大多是打着“理财公司”、“商贸公司”等的招牌在做信用卡套现业务。搜索“信用卡提现”，会出现大量的信用卡套现网站，后面留有手机号码。这种类似的广告也和保镖公司、讨债公司一样大量出现在报纸的豆腐块广告中。
　　张冉的办公地点在北京市朝阳区的一个写字楼内，记者以持卡人的身份要求套现，在得知记者持有的是民生银行(600016,股吧)的信用卡金卡时，张冉拿出了一部POS机，“在这里刷一下，然后我把现金给你，简单方便！”
　　信用卡套现，张冉收取的手续费是套现金额的2%，行内将其称为“两个点儿”。以记者想提1万元现金为例，张冉要收取200元手续费。信用卡中介正是靠手续费来赢利。
　　记者的信用卡额度是1万元，张冉建议说：“你提现最好是提9800元或者是9900元，剩点儿钱在卡里，这样就不会引起银行怀疑。”
　　“一旦让银行发现你是在进行套现，不但会对你的信用有影响，还有可能封卡。”在简陋的办公室里，张冉依然在夸夸其谈，“所以我们这样做就是为了你们客户着想。”
　　张冉“为客户着想”的方法不止一种。比如他会经常性地变换消费名义，“现在你信用卡在我们这里是以‘建材’的名义消费的，而半月之后你再来我们就换作‘电子产品’了”。
　　这样做的目的就是为了防止消费过于集中而让银行有所警觉。而变换的方法，张冉炫耀说：“我们在各大银行、上头都有人，换这个太轻松了。”

根据央行统计，截至2007年底，中国信用卡发卡量为9026万张，较2006年同期增长82%。中国银行(601988,股吧)卡发卡总量为15亿张，较2006年同期增长32.6%。
　　如此庞大的信用卡用户群，给了信用卡中介充足的生存空间。

　　张冉围绕信用卡的业务并不仅仅是信用卡套现，他还在其网站上打出了“信用卡还款服务、支票换现金服务、信用卡空卡提现、翻倍套现”的服务招牌。
　　其所说的“信用卡还款服务”是指借钱给无法在账单日前还款的持卡人，以保证持卡人的信用度。张冉说这种“代还”业务要收2.5%手续费，在1个月内还款免息。
　　谈话中，张冉还向记者重点推荐一种叫做“翻倍套现”的新业务。这种业务是利用一些信用卡可以分期贷款的功能，将支付额度翻倍兑现，相当于透支贷款。
　　张冉介绍，进行这种业务时，他会陪同持卡人到大中、国美、苏宁等大型商场分期刷卡购物，刷卡成功后张冉会买下商品给付持卡人等价现金，然后张冉会将商品迅速卖回商场，以此完成交易。
　　至于商品为何会简单地迅速卖回商场，张冉解释说他“在大中、国美、苏宁等商场都有人”。
　　当记者问到这种业务手续费是多少时，张冉说：“基本是两个点儿，不过要看你用哪家银行的什么卡刷，因为每家银行的信用卡可以贷款的额度也不一样。
　　另外还要看你要兑换多少现金，当然价钱高的话咱们还可以商量。”
　　在记者和张冉接触的20多分钟内，不断有人打来电话咨询套现事宜。张冉把需要套现的客户全都约到了第二天。
　　面对源源不断的生意，张冉总结出了信用卡套现的几大优点：一可以超额兑换。张冉拿记者的信用卡举例说：“你看你的卡虽然是1万元的额度，但只能提取4000元的现金，在我这里就可以提取近乎全额的现金，对于急需用钱的人来说，这很方便。”二不同于借钱，完全可以在免息期内还款。“一般信用卡的免息期往往是50日，这样你就可以在50日内筹钱还款，不用太着急。”

过低估计套现法律风险
　　“安全无危险”、“合法！有实际购物行为！”、“增加信用卡积分和信用额度！”“当场刷卡当场给钱，一次性支付所有分期现金，您只需每月定期银行还款，减小还款压力！”从张冉的说辞中，似乎可以感觉到使用信用卡套现“百利而无一害”。实际上，在张冉所说的信用卡套现种种优点的背后，却埋伏着威胁到持卡人和银行的各种风险。
推荐阅读
　　中信银行(601998,股吧)信用卡中心北京分中心主任郑海英认为，用信用卡套现对银行存在着极大的风险。与此观点一致，光大银行客户服务部陈经理也指出，银行和信用卡客户维系着“供应链”，一旦链条断掉的话，银行就要承担拿不到钱的风险，而信用卡套现就极容易破坏这条脆弱的“供应链”。
　　对于银行来说，信用卡业务就是为了获取收益。
　　香港御峰理财有限公司驻京代表处首席理财规划师沈林灵介绍，银行卡的收益主要来自三方面：一是来源于年费收入(七成以上)，二是贷款收益。特约商户的手续费用收入较少，况且在中国多数是银行借给商户POS机。三是持卡人如果不能按期还款，必须扣除一定的滞纳金。
　　由于信用卡业务相当于银行免息1个月或两个月贷款给持卡人，银行在获取信用卡收益的同时，也在承担着一定的风险，比如持卡人无法偿还借款，若再加上恶意套现的恶性循环，银行借出资金的缺口将会越撕越大。
　　而对于持卡人来说，信用卡套现带来的风险主要是无法及时还款，从而导致个人信用记录的污点。而信用的不良记录却往往被持卡人所忽视，而这被忽视掉的风险却能影响到持卡人的一生，因为上了银行的“黑名单”后，就会连房屋贷款都难以审批成功。
　　信用卡套现问题的背后还涉及到诸多法律问题。据银监会一位不愿具名的专业人士称，信用卡套现的本质是持卡者恶意以消费名义从银行套取一定额度的贷款，这在某种程度上是涉嫌虚构事实的贷款诈骗行为。
　　据中国银联的统计，仅仅2007年上半年，因伪冒申请信用卡造成刷卡银行的损失占全部欺诈损失的80.68%。全国共立信用卡诈骗案件1171起，涉案金额达到4461.36万元。
　　对于信用卡套现的泛滥，监管部门并没有放任不管。5月19日，银监会下发了《关于信用卡套现活跃风险提示的通知》。
　　其中指出：“近期，信用卡非法套现活动大量出现，循环信用账户透支余额和循环信用使用户数猛增，同时一些不法中介开始进行空卡套现，收取的套现手续费大幅提高，暴露出商业银行信用卡循环信用业务环节存在较大风险隐患。”
　　银监会在通知中要求，商业银行应针对信用卡套现现象，加强对POS机发放审查，并完善与商户的签约监管；对已确认存在套现行为的信用卡持卡人，有权采取降低授信额度、止付、将相关信息录入征信系统和银行间已建立的共享欺诈信息库等措施。
　　但通知下发后，银监会并没有看到预想中的效果。
　　一方面是持卡人过低估计了信用卡套现给自身带来的风险；另一方面，各大银行正在忙于争夺信用卡市场。大肆“圈地”的同时，必然不愿意放弃老用户，在套现的管理问题上显然并未尽如人意。
　　“其实银行为了保住市场，往往会选择睁一只眼闭一只眼。”张冉说。

The Crystal Coffin

2008-07-04T04:59:00.000-07:00

The Crystal CoffinOnce upon a time...Now let no one say that a poor tailor can't get on in the world, and, indeed, even attain to very high honour. Nothing is required but to set the right way to work, but of course the really important thing is to succeed.A very bright active young tailor once set off on his travels, which led him into a wood, and as he did not know the way he soon lost himself. Night came on, and there seemed to be nothing for it but to seek out the best resting-place he could find. He could have made himself quite comfortable with a bed of soft moss, but the fear of wild beasts disturbed his mind, and at last he determined to spend the night in a tree.He sought out a tall oak tree, climbed up to the top, and felt devoutly thankful that his big smoothing-iron was in his pocket, for the wind in the tree-tops was so high that he might easily have been blown away altogether.After passing some hours of the night, not without considerable fear and trembling, he noticed a light shining at a little distance, and hoping it might proceed from some house where he could find a better shelter than in the top of the tree, he cautiously descended and went towards the light. It led him to a little hut all woven together of reeds and rushes. He knocked bravely at the door, which opened, and by the light which shone from within he saw an old gray-haired man dressed in a coat made of bright-coloured patches. 'Who are you, and what do you want?' asked the old man roughly.'I am a poor tailor,' replied the youth. 'I have been benighted in the forest, and I entreat you to let me take shelter in your hut till morning.''Go your way,' said the old man in a sulky tone, 'I'll have nothing to do with tramps. You must just go elsewhere.'With these words he tried to slip back into his house, but the tailor laid hold of his coat-tails, and begged so hard to be allowed to stay that the old fellow, who was by no means as cross as he appeared, was at length touched by his entreaties, let him come in, and after giving him some food, showed him quite a nice bed in one corner of the room. The weary tailor required no rocking to rest, but slept sound till early morning, when he was roused from his slumbers by a tremendous noise. Loud screams and shouts pierced the thin walls of the little hut. The tailor, with new-born courage, sprang up, threw on his clothes with all speed and hurried out. There he saw a huge black bull engaged in a terrible fight with a fine large stag. They rushed at each other with such fury that the ground seemed to tremble under them and the whole air to be filled with their cries. For some time it appeared quite uncertain which would be the victor, but at length the stag drove his antlers with such force into his opponent's body that the bull fell to the ground with a terrific roar, and a few more strokes finished him.The tailo
r, who had been watching the fight with amazement, was still standing motionless when the stag bounded up to him, and before he had time to escape forked him up with its great antlers, and set off at full gallop over hedges and ditches, hill and dale, through wood and water. The tailor could do nothing but hold on tight with both hands to the stag's horns and resign himself to his fate. He felt as if he were flying along. At length the stag paused before a steep rock and gently let the tailor down to the ground.Feeling more dead than alive, he paused for a while to collect his scattered senses, but when he seemed somewhat restored the stag struck such a blow on a door in the rock that it flew open. Flames of fire rushed forth, and such clouds of steam followed that the stag had to avert its eyes. The tailor could not think what to do or which way to turn to get away from this awful wilderness, and to find his way back amongst human beings once more.As he stood hesitating, a voice from the rock cried to him: 'Step in without fear, no harm shall befall you.'He still lingered, but some mysterious power seemed to impel him, and passing through the door he found himself in a spacious hall, whose ceiling, walls, and floor were covered with polished tiles carved all over with unknown figures. He gazed about, full of wonder, and was just preparing to walk out again when the same voice bade him: 'Tread on the stone in the middle of the hall, and good luck will attend you.'By this time he had grown so courageous that he did not hesitate to obey the order, and hardly had he stepped on the stone than it began to sink gently with him into the depths below. On reaching firm ground he found himself in a hall of much the same size as the upper one, but with much more in it to wonder at and admire. Round the walls were several niches, in each of which stood glass vessels filled with some bright-coloured spirit or bluish smoke. On the floor stood two large crystal boxes opposite each other, and these attracted his curiosity at once.Stepping up to one of them, he saw within it what looked like a model in miniature of a fine castle surrounded by farms, barns, stables, and a number of other buildings. Everything was quite tiny, but so beautifully and carefully finished that it might have been the work of an accomplished artist. He would have continued gazing much longer at this remarkable curiosity had not the voice desired him to turn round and look at the crystal coffin which stood opposite.What was his amazement at seeing a girl of surpassing loveliness lying in it! She lay as though sleeping, and her long, fair hair seemed to wrap her round like some costly mantle. Her eyes were closed, but the bright colour in her face, and the movement of a ribbon, which rose and fell with her breath, left no doubt as to her being alive.As the tailor stood gazing at her with a beating heart, the
maiden suddenly opened her eyes, and started with delighted surprise.'Great heavens!' she cried, 'my deliverance approaches! Quick, quick, help me out of my prison; only push back the bolt of this coffin and I am free.'The tailor promptly obeyed, when she quickly pushed back the crystal lid, stepped out of the coffin and hurried to a corner of the hall, when she proceeded to wrap herself in a large cloak. Then she sat down on a stone, desired the young man to come near, and, giving him an affectionate kiss, she said, 'My long-hoped-for deliverer, kind heaven has led you to me, and has at length put an end to all my sufferings. You are my destined husband, and, beloved by me, and endowed with every kind of riches and power, you shall spend the remainder of your life in peace and happiness. Now sit down and hear my story. I am the daughter of a wealthy nobleman. My parents died when I was very young, and they left me to the care of my eldest brother, by whom I was carefully educated. We loved each other so tenderly, and our tastes and interests were so much alike that we determined never to marry, but to spend our entire lives together. There was no lack of society at our home. Friends and neighbours paid us frequent visits, and we kept open house for all. Thus it happened that one evening a stranger rode up to the castle and asked for hospitality, as he could not reach the nearest town that night. We granted his request with ready courtesy, and during supper he entertained us with most agreeable conversation, mingled with amusing anecdotes. My brother took such a fancy to him that he pressed him to spend a couple of days with us, which, after a little hesitation, the stranger consented to do. We rose late from table, and whilst my brother was showing our guest to his room I hurried to mine, for I was very tired and longed to get to bed. I had hardly dropped off to sleep when I was roused by the sound of some soft and charming music. Wondering whence it could come, I was about to call to my maid who slept in the room next mine, when, to my surprise, I felt as if some heavy weight on my chest had taken all power from me, and I lay there unable to utter the slightest sound. Meantime, by the light of the night lamp, I saw the stranger enter my room, though the double doors had been securely locked. He drew near and told me that through the power of his magic arts he had caused the soft music to waken me, and had made his way through bolts and bars to offer me his hand and heart. My repugnance to his magic was so great that I would not condescend to give any answer. He waited motionless for some time, hoping no doubt for a favourable reply, but as I continued silent he angrily declared that he would find means to punish my pride, and therewith he left the room in a rage.'I spent the night in the greatest agitation, and only fell into a doze towards morning. As soon as I awoke I jumped up, and hurried to tell my brot
her all that had happened, but he had left his room, and his servant told me that he had gone out at daybreak to hunt with the stranger.'My mind misgave me. I dressed in all haste, had my palfrey saddled, and rode of at full gallop towards the forest, attended by one servant only. I pushed on without pausing, and ere long I saw the stranger coming towards me, and leading a fine stag. I asked him where he had left my brother, and how he had got the stag, whose great eyes were overflowing with tears. Instead of answering he began to laugh, and I flew into such a rage that I drew a pistol and fired at him; but the bullet rebounded from his breast and struck my horse in the forehead. I fell to the ground, and the stranger muttered some words, which robbed me of my senses.'When I came to myself I was lying in a crystal coffin in this subterranean vault. The Magician appeared again, and told me that he had transformed my brother into a stag, had reduced our castle and all its defences to miniatureand locked them up in a glass box, and after turning all our household into different vapours had banished them into glass phials. If I would only yield to his wishes he could easily open these vessels, and all would then resume their former shapes.'I would not say a word more than I had done previously, and he vanished, leaving me in my prison, where a deep sleep soon fell on me. Amongst the many dreams which floated through my brain was a cheering one of a young man who was to come and release me, and to-day, when I opened my eyes, I recognised you and saw that my dream was fulfilled. Now help me to carry out the rest of my vision. The first thing is to place the glass box which contains my castle on this large stone.'As soon as this was done the stone gently rose through the air and transported them into the upper hall, whence they easily carried the box into the outer air. The lady then removed the lid, and it was marvellous to watch the castle, houses, and farmyards begin to grow and spread themselves till they had regained their proper size. Then the young couple returned by means of the movable stone, and brought up all the glass vessels filled with smoke. No sooner were they uncorked than the blue vapours poured out and became transformed to living people, in whom the lady joyfully recognised her many servants and attendants.Her delight was complete when her brother (who had killed the Magician under the form of a bull) was seen coming from the forest in his proper shape, and that very day, according to her promise, she gave her hand in marriage to the happy young tailor.

The Half-Chick

2008-07-04T04:58:00.000-07:00

The Half-ChickOnce upon a time...Once upon a time there was a handsome black Spanish hen, who had a large brood of chickens. They were all fine, plump little birds, except the youngest, who was quite unlike his brothers and sisters. Indeed, he was such a strange, queer-looking creature, that when he first chipped his shell his mother could scarcely believe her eyes, he was so different from the twelve other fluffy, downy, soft little chicks who nestled under her wings. This one looked just as if he had been cut in two. He had only one leg, and one wing, and one eye, and he had half a head and half a beak. His mother shook her head sadly as she looked at him and said:'My youngest born is only a half-chick. He can never grow up a tall handsome cock like his brothers. They will go out into the world and rule over poultry yards of their own; but this poor little fellow will always have to stay at home with his mother.' And she called him Medio Pollito, which is Spanish for half-chick.Now though Medio Pollito was such an odd, helpless-looking little thing, his mother soon found that he was not at all willing to remain under her wing and protection. Indeed, in character he was as unlike his brothers and sisters as he was in appearance. They were good, obedient chickens, and when the old hen chicked after them, they chirped and ran back to her side. But Medio Pollito had a roving spirit in spite of his one leg, and when his mother called to him to return to the coop, he pretended that he could not hear, because he had only one ear.When she took the whole family out for a walk in the fields, Medio Pollito would hop away by himself, and hide among the Indian corn. Many an anxious minute his brothers and sisters had looking for him, while his mother ran to and fro cackling in fear and dismay.As he grew older he became more self-willed and disobedient, and his manner to his mother was often very rude, and his temper to the other chickens very disagreeable.One day he had been out for a longer expedition than usual in the fields. On his return he strutted up to his mother with the peculiar little hop and kick which was his way of walking, and cocking his one eye at her in a very bold way he said:'Mother, I am tired of this life in a dull farmyard, with nothing but a dreary maize field to look at. I'm off to Madrid to see the King.''To Madrid, Medio Pollito!' exclaimed his mother; 'why, you silly chick, it would be a long journey for a grown-up cock, and a poor little thing like you would be tired out before you had gone half the distance. No, no, stay at home with your mother, and some day, when you are bigger, we will go a little journey together.'But Medio Pollito had made up his mind, and he would not listen to his mother's advice, nor to the prayers and entreaties of his brothers and sisters.'What is the use of ou
r all crowding each other up in this poky little place?' he said. 'When I have a fine courtyard of my own at the King's palace, I shall perhaps ask some of you to come and pay me a short visit,' and scarcely waiting to say good-bye to his family, away he stumped down the high road that led to Madrid.'Be sure that you are kind and civil to everyone you meet,' called his mother, running after him; but he was in such a hurry to be off, that he did not wait to answer her, or even to look back.A little later in the day, as he was taking a short cut through a field, he passed a stream. Now the stream was all choked up, and overgrown with weeds and water-plants, so that its waters could not flow freely.'Oh! Medio Pollito,' it cried, as the half-chick hopped along its banks, 'do come and help me by clearing away these weeds.''Help you, indeed!' exclaimed Medio Pollito, tossing his head, and shaking the few feathers in his tail. 'Do you think I have nothing to do but to waste my time on such trifles? Help yourself, and don't trouble busy travellers. I am off to Madrid to see the King,' and hoppity-kick, hoppity-kick, away stumped Medio Pollito.A little later he came to a fire that had been left by some gipsies in a wood. It was burning very low, and would soon be out.'Oh! Medio Pollito,' cried the fire, in a weak, wavering voice as the half-chick approached, 'in a few minutes I shall go quite out, unless you put some sticks and dry leaves upon me. Do help me, or I shall die!''Help you, indeed!' answered Medio Pollito. 'I have other things to do. Gather sticks for yourself, and don't trouble me. I am off to Madrid to see the King,' and hoppity-kick, hoppity-kick, away stumped Medio Pollito.The next morning, as he was getting near Madrid, he passed a large chestnut tree, in whose branches the wind was caught and entangled. 'Oh! Medio Pollito,' called the wind, 'do hop up here, and help me to get free of these branches. I cannot come away, and it is so uncomfortable.''It is your own fault for going there,' answered Medio Pollito. 'I can't waste all my morning stopping here to help you. Just shake yourself off, and don't hinder me, for I am off to Madrid to see the King,' and hoppity-kick, hoppity-kick, away stumped Medio Pollito in great glee, for the towers and roofs of Madrid were now in sight. When he entered the town he saw before him a great splendid house, with soldiers standing before the gates. This he knew must be the King's palace, and he determined to hop up to the front gate and wait there until the King came out. But as he was hopping past one of the back windows the King's cook saw him:'Here is the very thing I want,' he exclaimed, 'for the King has just sent a message to say that he must have chicken broth for his dinner,' and opening the window he stretched out his arm, caught Medio Pollito, and popped him into the broth-pot
that was standing near the fire. Oh! how wet and clammy the water felt as it went over Medio Pollito's head, making his feathers cling to his side.'Water, water!' he cried in his despair, 'do have pity upon me and do not wet me like this.''Ah! Medio Pollito,' replied the water, 'you would not help me when I was a little stream away on the fields, now you must be punished.'Then the fire began to burn and scald Medio Pollito, and he danced and hopped from one side of the pot to the other, trying to get away from the heat, and crying out in pain:Fire, fire! do not scorch me like this; you can't think how it hurts.''Ah! Medio Pollito,' answered the fire, 'you would not help me when I was dying away in the wood. You are being punished.'At last, just when the pain was so great that Medio Pollito thought he must die, the cook lifted up the lid of the pot to see if the broth was ready for the King's dinner.'Look here!' he cried in horror, 'this chicken is quite useless. It is burnt to a cinder. I can't send it up to the royal table;' and opening the window he threw Medio Pollito out into the street. But the wind caught him up, and whirled him through the air so quickly that Medio Pollito could scarcely breathe, and his heart beat against his side till he thought it would break.'Oh, wind!' at last he gasped out, 'if you hurry me along like this you will kill me. Do let me rest a moment, or--' but he was so breathless that he could not finish his sentence.'Ah! Medio Pollito,' replied the wind, 'when I was caught in the branches of the chestnut tree you would not help me; now you are punished.' And he swirled Medio Pollito over the roofs of the houses till they reached the highest church in the town, and there he left him fastened to the top of the steeple.And there stands Medio Pollito to this day. And if you go to Madrid, and walk through the streets till you come to the highest church, you will see Medio Pollito perched on his one leg on the steeple, with his one wing drooping at his side, and gazing sadly out of his one eye over the town.

The Story Of Caliph Stork

2008-07-04T04:57:00.000-07:00

The Story Of Caliph StorkOnce upon a time...Caliph Chasid, of Bagdad, was resting comfortably on his divan one fine afternoon. He was smoking a long pipe, and from time to time he sipped a little coffee which a slave handed to him, and after each sip he stroked his long beard with an air of enjoyment. In short, anyone could see that the Caliph was in an excellent humour. This was, in fact, the best time of day in which to approach him, for just now he was pretty sure to be both affable and in good spirits, and for this reason the Grand Vizier Mansor always chose this hour in which to pay his daily visit.He arrived as usual this afternoon, but, contrary to his usual custom, with an anxious face. The Caliph withdrew his pipe for a moment from his lips and asked, 'Why do you look so anxious, Grand Vizier?'The Grand Vizier crossed his arms on his breast and bent low before his master as he answered:'Oh, my Lord! whether my countenance be anxious or not I know not, but down below, in the court of the palace, is a pedlar with such beautiful things that I cannot help feeling annoyed at having so little money to spare.'The Caliph, who had wished for some time past to give his Grand Vizier a present, ordered his black slave to bring the pedlar before him at once. The slave soon returned, followed by the pedlar, a short stout man with a swarthy face, and dressed in very ragged clothes. He carried a box containing all manner of wares-- strings of pearls, rings, richly mounted pistols, goblets, and combs. The Caliph and his Vizier inspected everything, and the Caliph chose some handsome pistols for himself and Mansor, and a jewelled comb for the Vizier's wife. Just as the pedlar was about to close his box, the Caliph noticed a small drawer, and asked if there was anything else in it for sale. The pedlar opened the drawer and showed them a box containing a black powder, and a scroll written in strange characters, which neither the Caliph nor the Mansor could read.'I got these two articles from a merchant who had picked them up in the street at Mecca,' said the pedlar. 'I do not know what they may contain, but as they are of no use to me, you are welcome to have them for a trifle.'The Caliph, who liked to have old manuscripts in his library, even though he could not read them, purchased the scroll and the box, and dismissed the pedlar. Then, being anxious to know what might be the contents of the scroll, he asked the Vizier if he did not know of anyone who might be able to decipher it.'Most gracious Lord and master,' replied the Vizier, 'near the great Mosque lives a man called Selim the learned, who knows every language under the sun. Send for him; it may be that he will be able to interpret these mysterious characters.'The learned Selim was summoned immediately.'Selim,' said the Caliph, 'I hear you are a scholar. Look well at t
his scroll and see whether you can read it. If you can, I will give you a robe of honour; but if you fail, I will order you to receive twelve strokes on your cheeks, and five-and-twenty on the soles of your feet, because you have been falsely called Selim the learned.'Selim prostrated himself and said, 'Be it according to your will, oh master!' Then he gazed long at the scroll. Suddenly he exclaimed: 'May I die, oh, my Lord, if this isn't Latin !''Well,' said the Caliph, 'if it is Latin, let us hear what it means.'So Selim began to translate: 'Thou who mayest find this, praise Allah for his mercy. Whoever shall snuff the powder in this box, and at the same time shall pronounce the word "Mutabor!" can transform himself into any creature he likes, and will understand the language of all animals. When he wishes to resume the human form, he has only to bow three times towards the east, and to repeat the same word. Be careful, however, when wearing the shape of some beast or bird, not to laugh, or thou wilt certainly forget the magic word and remain an animal for ever.'When Selim the learned had read this, the Caliph was delighted. He made the wise man swear not to tell the matter to anyone, gave him a splendid robe, and dismissed him. Then he said to his Vizier, 'That's what I call a good bargain, Mansor. I am longing for the moment when I can become some animal. To-morrow morning I shall expect you early; we will go into the country, take some snuff from my box, and then hear what is being said in air, earth, and water.'II.Next morning Caliph Chasid had barely finished dressing, and breakfasting, when the Grand Vizier arrived, according to orders, to accompany him in his expedition. The Caliph stuck the snuff-box in his girdle, and, having desired his servants to remain at home, started off with the Grand Vizier only in attendance. First they walked through the palace gardens, but they looked in vain for some creature which could tempt them to try their magic power. At length the Vizier suggested going further on to a pond which lay beyond the town, and where he had often seen a variety of creatures, especially storks, whose grave, dignified appearance and constant chatter had often attracted his attention.The Caliph consented, and they went straight to the pond. As soon as they arrived they remarked a stork strutting up and down with a stately air, hunting for frogs, and now and then muttering something to itself. At the same time they saw another stork far above in the sky flying towards the same spot.'I would wager my beard, most gracious master,' said the Grand Vizier, 'that these two long legs will have a good chat together. How would it be if we turned ourselves into storks?''Well said,' replied the Caliph; 'but first let us remember carefully how we are to become men once more. True! Bow three times towards the east and say &q
uot;Mutabor!" and I shall be Caliph and you my Grand Vizier again. But for Heaven's sake don't laugh or we are lost!'As the Caliph spoke he saw the second stork circling round his head and gradually flying towards the earth. Quickly he drew the box from his girdle, took a good pinch of the snuff, and offered one to Mansor, who also took one, and both cried together 'Mutabor!'Instantly their legs shrivelled up and grew thin and red; their smart yellow slippers turned to clumsy stork's feet, their arms to wings; their necks began to sprout from between their shoulders and grew a yard long; their beards disappeared, and their bodies were covered with feathers.'You've got a fine long bill, Sir Vizier,' cried the Caliph, after standing for some time lost in astonishment. 'By the beard of the Prophet I never saw such a thing in all my life!''My very humble thanks,' replied the Grand Vizier, as he bent his long neck; 'but, if I may venture to say so, your Highness is even handsomer as a stork than as a Caliph. But come, if it so pleases you, let us go near our comrades there and find out whether we really do understand the language of storks.'Meantime the second stork had reached the ground. It first scraped its bill with its claw, stroked down its feathers, and then advanced towards the first stork. The two newly made storks lost no time in drawing near, and to their amazement overheard the following conversation:'Good morning, Dame Longlegs. You are out early this morning!''Yes, indeed, dear Chatterbill! I am getting myself a morsel of breakfast. May I offer you a joint of lizard or a frog's thigh?''A thousand thanks, but I have really no appetite this morning. I am here for a very different purpose. I am to dance to-day before my father's guests, and I have come to the meadow for a little quiet practice.'Thereupon the young stork began to move about with the most wonderful steps. The Caliph and Mansor looked on in surprise for some time; but when at last she balanced herself in a picturesque attitude on one leg, and flapped her wings gracefully up and down, they could hold out no longer; a prolonged peal burst from each of their bills, and it was some time before they could recover their composure. The Caliph was the first to collect himself. 'That was the best joke,' said he, 'I've ever seen. It's a pity the stupid creatures were scared away by our laughter, or no doubt they would have sung next!'Suddenly, however, the Vizier remembered how strictly they had been warned not to laugh during their transformation. He at once communicated his fears to the Caliph, who exclaimed, 'By Mecca and Medina! it would indeed prove but a poor joke if I had to remain a stork for the remainder of my days! Do just try and remember the stupid word, it has slipped my memory.''We must bow three times eastwards and say "Mu...mu...m
u..."'They turned to the east and fell to bowing till their bills touched the ground, but, oh horror--the magic word was quite forgotten, and however often the Caliph bowed and however touchingly his Vizier cried 'Mu...mu...' they could not recall it, and the unhappy Chasid and Mansor remained storks as they were.III.The two enchanted birds wandered sadly on through the meadows. In their misery they could not think what to do next. They could not rid themselves of their new forms; there was no use in returning to the town and saying who they were; for who would believe a stork who announced that he was a Caliph; and even if they did believe him, would the people of Bagdad consent to let a stork rule over them?So they lounged about for several days, supporting themselves on fruits, which, however, they found some difficulty in eating with their long bills. They did not much care to eat frogs or lizards. Their one comfort in their sad plight was the power of flying, and accordingly they often flew over the roofs of Bagdad to see what was going on there.During the first few days they noticed signs of much disturbance and distress in the streets, but about the fourth day, as they sat on the roof of the palace, they perceived a splendid procession passing below them along the street. Drums and trumpets sounded, a man in a scarlet mantle, embroidered in gold, sat on a splendidly caparisoned horse surrounded by richly dressed slaves; half Bagdad crowded after him, and they all shouted, 'Hail, Mirza, the Lord of Bagdad!'The two storks on the palace roof looked at each other, and Caliph Chasid said, 'Can you guess now, Grand Vizier, why I have been enchanted? This Mirza is the son of my deadly enemy, the mighty magician Kaschnur, who in an evil moment vowed vengeance on me. Still I will not despair! Come with me, my faithful friend; we will go to the grave of the Prophet, and perhaps at that sacred spot the spell may be loosed.'They rose from the palace roof, and spread their wings toward Medina.But flying was not quite an easy matter, for the two storks had had but little practice as yet.'Oh, my Lord!' gasped the Vizier, after a couple of hours, 'I can get on no longer; you really fly too quick for me. Besides, it is nearly evening, and we should do well to find some place in which to spend the night.'Chasid listened with favour to his servant's suggestion, and perceiving in the valley beneath them a ruin which seemed to promise shelter they flew towards it. The building in which they proposed to pass the night had apparently been formerly a castle. Some handsome pillars still stood amongst the heaps of ruins, and several rooms, which yet remained in fair preservation, gave evidence of former splendour. Chasid and his companion wandered along the passages seeking a dry spot, when suddenly Mansor stood still.'My Lord and
master,' he whispered, 'if it were not absurd for a Grand Vizier, and still more for a stork, to be afraid of ghosts, I should feel quite nervous, for someone, or something close by me, has sighed and moaned quite audibly.'The Caliph stood still and distinctly heard a low weeping sound which seemed to proceed from a human being rather than from any animal. Full of curiosity he was about to rush towards the spot from whence the sounds of woe came, when the Vizier caught him by the wing with his bill, and implored him not to expose himself to fresh and unknown dangers. The Caliph, however, under whose stork's breast a brave heart beat, tore himself away with the loss of a few feathers, and hurried down a dark passage. He saw a door which stood ajar, and through which he distinctly heard sighs, mingled with sobs. He pushed open the door with his bill, but remained on the threshold, astonished at the sight which met his eyes. On the floor of the ruined chamber--which was but scantily lighted by a small barred window--sat a large screech owl. Big tears rolled from its large round eyes, and in a hoarse voice it uttered its complaints through its crooked beak. As soon as it saw the Caliph and his Vizier--who had crept up meanwhile--it gave vent to a joyful cry. It gently wiped the tears from its eyes with its spotted brown wings, and to the great amazement of the two visitors, addressed them in good human Arabic.'Welcome, ye storks! You are a good sign of my deliverance, for it was foretold me that a piece of good fortune should befall me through a stork.'When the Caliph had recovered from his surprise, he drew up his feet into a graceful position, bent his long neck, and said: 'Oh, screech owl! from your words I am led to believe that we see in you a companion in misfortune. But, alas! your hope that you may attain your deliverance through us is but a vain one. You will know our helplessness when you have heard our story.'The screech owl begged him to relate it, and the Caliph accordingly told him what we already know.IV.When the Caliph had ended, the owl thanked him and said: 'You hear my story, and own that I am no less unfortunate than yourselves. My father is the King of the Indies. I, his only daughter, am named Lusa. That magician Kaschnur, who enchanted you, has been the cause of my misfortunes too. He came one day to my father and demanded my hand for his son Mirza. My father--who is rather hasty--ordered him to be thrown downstairs. The wretch not long after managed to approach me under another form, and one day, when I was in the garden, and asked for some refreshment, he brought me--in the disguise of a slave--a draught which changed me at once to this horrid shape. Whilst I was fainting with terror he transported me here, and cried to me with his awful voice: "There shall you remain, lonely and hideous, despised even by the brutes, till the end of your days, or ti
ll some one of his own free will asks you to be his wife. Thus do I avenge myself on you and your proud father."'Since then many months have passed away. Sad and lonely do I live like any hermit within these walls, avoided by the world and a terror even to animals; the beauties of nature are hidden from me, for I am blind by day, and it is only when the moon sheds her pale light on this spot that the veil falls from my eyes and I can see.' The owl paused, and once more wiped her eyes with her wing, for the recital of her woes had drawn fresh tears from her.The Caliph fell into deep thought on hearing this story of the Princess. 'If I am not much mistaken,' said he, 'there is some mysterious connection between our misfortunes, but how to find the key to the riddle is the question.'The owl answered: 'Oh, my Lord! I too feel sure of this, for in my earliest youth a wise woman foretold that a stork would bring me some great happiness, and I think I could tell you how we might save ourselves.' The Caliph was much surprised, and asked her what she meant.'The Magician who has made us both miserable,' said she, 'comes once a month to these ruins. Not far from this room is a large hall where he is in the habit of feasting with his companions. I have often watched them. They tell each other all about their evil deeds, and possibly the magic word which you have forgotten may be mentioned.''Oh, dearest Princess!' exclaimed the Caliph, 'say, when does he come, and where is the hall?'The owl paused a moment and then said: 'Do not think me unkind, but I can only grant your request on one condition.''Speak, speak!' cried Chasid; 'command, I will gladly do whatever you wish!''Well,' replied the owl, 'you see I should like to be free too; but this can only be if one of you will offer me his hand in marriage.'The storks seemed rather taken aback by this suggestion, and the Caliph beckoned to his Vizier to retire and consult with him.When they were outside the door the Caliph said: 'Grand Vizier, this is a tiresome business. However, you can take her.''Indeed!' said the Vizier; 'so that when I go home my wife may scratch my eyes out! Besides, I am an old man, and your Highness is still young and unmarried, and a far more suitable match for a young and lovely Princess.''That's just where it is,' sighed the Caliph, whose wings drooped in a dejected manner; 'how do you know she is young and lovely? I call it buying a pig in a poke.'They argued on for some time, but at length, when the Caliph saw plainly that his Vizier would rather remain a stork to the end of his days than marry the owl, he determined to fulfil the condition himself. The owl was delighted. She owned that they could not have arrived at a better time, as most probably the magicians would meet that very night.She then proceeded to lea
d the two storks to the chamber. They passed through a long dark passage till at length a bright ray of light shone before them through the chinks of a half-ruined wall. When they reached it the owl advised them to keep very quiet. Through the gap near which they stood they could with ease survey the whole of the large hall. It was adorned with splendid carved pillars; a number of coloured lamps replaced the light of day. In the middle of the hall stood a round table covered with a variety of dishes, and about the table was a divan on which eight men were seated. In one of these bad men the two recognised the pedlar who had sold the magic powder. The man next him begged him to relate all his latest doings, and amongst them he told the story of the Caliph and his Vizier.'And what kind of word did you give them?' asked another old sorcerer.'A very difficult Latin word; it is "Mutabor."'V.As soon as the storks heard this they were nearly beside themselves with joy. They ran at such a pace to the door of the ruined castle that the owl could scarcely keep up with them. When they reached it the Caliph turned to the owl, and said with much feeling: 'Deliverer of my friend and myself, as a proof of my eternal gratitude, accept me as your husband.' Then he turned towards the east. Three times the storks bowed their long necks to the sun, which was just rising over the mountains. 'Mutabor!' they both cried, and in an instant they were once more transformed. In the rapture of their newly-given lives master and servant fell laughing and weeping into each other's arms. Who shall describe their surprise when they at last turned round and beheld standing before them a beautiful lady exquisitely dressed!With a smile she held out her hand to the Caliph, and asked: 'Do you not recognise your screech owl?'It was she! The Caliph was so enchanted by her grace and beauty, that he declared being turned into a stork had been the best piece of luck which had ever befallen him. The three set out at once for Bagdad. Fortunately, the Caliph found not only the box with the magic powder, but also his purse in his girdle; he was, therefore, able to buy in the nearest village all they required for their journey, and so at lastthey reached the gates of Bagdad.Here the Caliph's arrival created the greatest sensation. He had been quite given up for dead, and the people were greatly rejoiced to see their beloved ruler again.Their rage with the usurper Mirza, however, was great in proportion. They marched in force to the palace and took the old magician and his son prisoners. The Caliph sent the magician to the room where the Princess had lived as an owl, and there had him hanged. As the son, however, knew nothing of his father's acts, the Caliph gave him his choice between death and a pinch of the magic snuff. When he chose the latter, the Grand Vizier handed him the box. One
good pinch, and the magic word transformed him to a stork. The Caliph ordered him to be confined in an iron cage, and placed in the palace gardens.Caliph Chasid lived long and happily with his wife the Princess. His merriest time was when the Grand Vizier visited him in the afternoon; and when the Caliph was in particularly high spirits he would condescend to mimic the Vizier's appearance when he was a stork. He would strut gravely, and with well-stiffened legs, up and down the room, chattering, and showing how he had vainly bowed to the east and cried 'Mu...Mu...' The Caliphess and her children were always much entertained by this performance; but when the Caliph went on nodding and bowing, and calling 'Mu...mu...' too long, the Vizier would threaten laughingly to tell the Chaliphess the subject of the discussion carried on one night outside the door of Princess Screech Owl.

The Biter Bit

2008-07-04T04:55:00.000-07:00

The Biter Bit
Once upon a time...
Once upon a time there lived a man called Simon, who was very rich, but at the same time as stingy and miserly as he could be. He had a housekeeper called Nina, a clever capable woman, and as she did her work carefully and conscientiously, her master had the greatest respect for her.
In his young days Simon had been one of the gayest and most active youths of the neighbourhood, but as he grew old and stiff he found it very difficult to walk, and his faithful servant urged him to get a horse so as to save his poor old bones. At last Simon gave way to the request and persuasive eloquence of his housekeeper, and betook himself one day to the market where he had seen a mule, which he thought would just suit him, and which he bought for seven gold pieces.
Now it happened that there were three merry rascals hanging about the market-place, who much preferred living on other people's goods to working for their own living. As soon as they saw that Simon had bought a mule, one of them said to his two boon companions, 'My friends, this mule must be ours before we are many hours older.'
'But how shall we manage it,' asked one of them.
'We must all three station ourselves at different intervals along the old man's homeward way, and must each in his turn declare that the mule he has bought is a donkey. If we only stick to it you'll see the mule will soon be ours.' This proposal quite satisfied the others, and they all separated as they had agreed.
Now when Simon came by, the first rogue said to him, 'God bless you, my fine gentleman.'
'Thanks for your courtesy,' replied Simon.
'Where have you been?' asked the thief.
'To the market,' was the reply.
'And what did you buy there?' continued the rogue.
'This mule.'
'Which mule?'
'The one I'm sitting upon, to be sure,' replied Simon.
'Are you in earnest, or only joking?'
'What do you mean?'
'Because it seems to me you've got hold of a donkey, and not of a mule.'
'A donkey? Rubbish!' screamed Simon, and without another word he rode on his way. After a few hundred yards he met the second confederate, who addressed him, 'Good day, dear sir, where are you coming from?'
'From the market,' answered Simon.
'Did things go pretty cheap?' asked the other.
'I should just think so,' said Simon.
'And did you make any good bargain yourself?'
'I bought this mule on which you see me.'
'Is it possible that you really bought that beast for a mule?'
'Why certainly.'
'But, good heavens, it's nothing but a donkey!'
'A donkey!' repeated Simon, 'you don't mean to say so; if a single other person tells me that, I'll make him a present of the wretched animal.'
With these words he continued hi

s way, and very soon met the third knave, who said to him, 'God bless you, sir; are you by any chance coming from the market?'
'Yes, I am,' replied Simon.
'And what bargain did you drive there?' asked the cunning fellow.
'I bought this mule on which I am riding.'
'A mule! Are you speaking seriously, or do you wish to make a fool of me?'
'I'm speaking in sober earnest,' said Simon; 'it wouldn't occur to me to make a joke of it.'
'Oh, my poor friend,' cried the rascal, 'don't you see that is a donkey and not a mule? you have been taken in by some wretched cheats.'
'You are the third person in the last two hours who has told me the same thing,' said Simon, 'but I couldn't believe it,' and dismounting from the mule he spoke: 'Keep the animal, I make you a present of it.' The rascal took the beast, thanked him kindly, and rode on to join his comrades, while Simon continued his journey on foot.
As soon as the old man got home, he told his housekeeper that he had bought a beast under the belief that it was a mule, but that it had turned out to be a donkey--at least, so he had been assured by several people he had met on the road, and that in disgust he had at last given it away.
'Oh, you simpleton!' cried Nina; 'didn't you see that they were only playing you a trick? Really, I thought you'd have had more gumption than that; they wouldn't have taken me in in that way.'
'Never mind,' replied Simon, 'I'll play them one worth two of that; for depend upon it they won't be contented with having got the donkey out of me, but they'll try by some new dodge to get something more, or I'm much mistaken.'
Now there lived in the village not far from Simon's house, a peasant who had two goats, so alike in every respect that it was impossible to distinguish one from the other. Simon bought them both, paid as small a price as he could for them, and leading them home with him, he told Nina to prepare a good meal, as he was going to invite some friends to dinner. He ordered her to roast some veal, and to boil a pair of chickens, and gave her some herbs to make a good savoury, and told her to bake the best tart she could make. Then he took one of the goats and tied it to a post in the courtyard, and gave it some grass to eat; but he bound a cord round the neck of the other goat and led it to the market.
Hardly had he arrived there, than the three gentlemen who had got his mule perceived him, and coming up to him said: 'Welcome, Mr. Simon, what brings you here; are you on the look out for a bargain?'
'I've come to get some provisions,' he answered, 'because some friends are coming to dine with me today, and it would give me much pleasure if you were to honour me with your company also.'
The accomplices willingly accepted this invitation; and after Simon had made all his purchases, he tied them on to the goat's back, and sa

id to it, in the presence of the three cheats, 'Go home now, and tell Nina to roast the veal, and boil the chickens, and tell her to prepare a savoury with herbs, and to bake the best tart she can make. Have you followed me? Then go, and Heaven's blessing go with you.'
As soon as it felt itself free, the laden goat trotted off as quickly as it could, and to this day nobody knows what became of it. But Simon, after wandering about the market for some time with his three friends and some others he had picked up, returned home to his house.
When he and his guests entered the courtyard, they noticed the goat tied to the post quietly chewing the cud. They were not a little astonished at this, for of course they thought it was the same goat that Simon had sent home laden with provisions. As soon as they reached the house Mr. Simon said to his housekeeper, 'Well, Nina, have you done what I told the goat to tell you to do?' The artful woman, who at once understood her master, answered, 'Certainly I have. The veal is roasted, and the chickens boiled.'
'That's all right,' said Simon.
When the three rogues saw the cooked meats, and the tart in the oven, and heard Nina's words, they were nearly beside themselves with amazement, and began to consult at once how they were to get the goat into their own possession. At last, towards the end of the meal, having sought in vain for some cunning dodge to get the goat away from Mr. Simon, one of them said to him, 'My worthy host, you must sell your goat to us.'
Simon replied that he was most unwilling to part with the creature, as no amount of money would make up to him for its loss; still, if they were quite set on it, he would let them have the goat for fifty gold pieces.
The knaves, who thought they were doing a capital piece of business, paid down the fifty gold pieces at once, and left the house quite happily, leading the goat with them. When they got home they said to their wives, 'You needn't begin to cook the dinner to-morrow till we send the provisions home.'
The following day they went to the market and bought chickens and other eatables, and after they had packed them on the back of the goat (which they had brought with them), they told it all the dishes they wished their wives to prepare. As soon as the goat felt itself free, it ran as quickly as it could, and was very soon lost to sight, and, as far as I know, was never heard of again.
When the dinner hour approached all three went home and asked their wives if the goat had returned with the necessary provisions, and had told them what they wished prepared for their meal.
'Oh, you fools and blockheads!' cried their wives, 'how could you ever believe for a moment that a goat would do the work of a servant-maid? You have been finely deceived for once in a way. Of course, if you are always taking in other people, your turn to be taken in comes too, and this ti

me you've been made to look pretty foolish.'
When the three comrades saw that Mr. Simon had got the better of them, and done them out of fifty gold pieces, they flew into such a rage that they made up their minds to kill him, and, seizing their weapons for this purpose, went to his house.
But the sly old man, who was terrified for his life that the three rogues might do him some harm, was on his guard, and said to his housekeeper, 'Nina, take this bladder, which is filled with blood, and hide it under your cloak; then when these thieves come I'll lay all the blame on you, and will pretend to be so angry with you that I will run at you with my knife, and pierce the bladder with it; then you must fall on the ground as if you were dead, and leave the rest to me.'
Hardly had Simon said these words when the three rogues appeared and fell on him to kill him.
'My friends,' called out Simon to then, 'what do you accuse me of? I am in no way to blame; perhaps my housekeeper has done you some injury of which I know nothing.' And with these words, he turned on Nina with his knife, and stuck it right into her, so that he pierced the bladder filled with blood. Instantly the housekeeper fell down as if she were dead, and the blood streamed all over the
ground.Simon then pretended to be seized with remorse at the sight of this dreadful catastrophe, and cried out in a loud voice, 'Unhappy wretch that I am! What have I done? Like a madman I have killed the woman who is the prop and stay of my old age. How could I ever go on living without her?' Then he seized a pipe, and when he had blown into it for some time Nina sprang up alive and well.The rogues were more amazed than ever; they forgot their anger, and buying the pipe for two hundred gold pieces, they went joyfully home.Not long after this one of them quarrelled with his wife, and in his rage he thrust his knife into her breast so that she fell dead on the ground. Then he took Simon's pipe and blew into it with all his might, in the hopes of calling his wife back to life. But he blew in vain, for the poor soul was as dead as a door-nail.When one of his comrades heard what had happened, he said, 'You blockhead, you can't have done it properly; just let me have a try,' and with these words he seized his wife by the roots of her hair, cut her throat with a razor, and then took the pipe and blew into it with all his might but he couldn't bring her back to life. The same thing happened to the third rogue, so that they were now all three without wives.Full of wrath they ran to Simon's house, and, refusing to listen to a word of explanation or excuse, they seized the old man and put him into a sack, meaning to drown him in the neighbouring river. On their way there, however, a sudden noise threw them into such a panic that they dropped the sack with Simon in it and ran for their lives.Soon after this a
shepherd happened to pass by with his flock, and while he was slowly following the sheep, who paused here and there by the wayside to browse on the tender grass, he heard a pitiful voice wailing, 'They insist on my taking her, and I don't want her, for I am too old, and I really can't have her.' The shepherd was much startled, for he couldn't make out where these words, which were repeated more than once, came from, and looked about him to the right and left; at last he perceived the sack in which Simon was hidden, and going up to it he opened it and discovered Simon repeating his dismal complaint. The shepherd asked him why he had been left there tied up in a sack.Simon replied that the king of the country had insisted on giving him one of his daughters as a wife, but that he had refused the honour because he was too old and too frail. The simple-minded shepherd, who believed his story implicitly, asked him, 'Do you think the king of the country would give his daughter to me?''Yes, certainly, I know he would,' answered Simon, 'if you were tied up in this sack instead of me.' Then getting out of the sack, he tied the confiding shepherd up in it instead, and at his request fastened it securely and drove the sheep on himself.An hour had scarcely passed when the three rogues returned to the place where they had left Simon in the sack, and without opening it, one of them seized it and threw it into the river. And so the poor shepherd was drowned instead of Mr. Simon!The three rogues, having wreaked their vengeance, set out, for home. On their way they noticed a flock of sheep grazing not far from the road. They longed to steal a few of the lambs, and approached the flock, and were more than startled to recognise Mr. Simon, whom they had drowned in the river, as the shepherd who was looking after the sheep. They asked him how he had managed to get out of the river, to which he replied:'Get along with you--you are no better than silly donkeys without any sense; if you had only drowned me in deeper water I would have returned with three times as many sheep.'When the three rogues heard this, they said to him: 'Oh, dear Mr. Simon, do us the favour to tie us up in sacks and throw us into the river that we may give up our thieving ways and become the owners of flocks.''I am ready,' answered Simon, 'to do what you please; there's nothing in the world I wouldn't do for you.'So he took three strong sacks and put a man in each of them, and fastened them up so tightly that they couldn't get out, and then he threw them all into the river; and that was the end of the three rogues. But Mr. Simon returned home to his faithful Nina rich in flocks and gold, and lived for many a year in health and happiness.

舞夜家族人事收人条例

2008-06-10T10:16:00.001-07:00

舞夜家族人事收人条例1:入新成员需要考试. (二)入技术部规定: 1:遵守家族的一切条款.使用家族号.服从指挥,热爱家族,忠于家族,不得随意惹事.不做有损家族的事.不得骂人,不得随便T人.如果家族新成员被人欺负带线一定要带场不能以任何理由推迟什么,发现3次着记大过1次 2次大过直接脱离╭舞夜の戦隊 2:在自己所在大区基地基地活动,不得随意窜区,娱乐房统一为 3:一旦家族或者成员被踩,技术部成员必须到场接踩,输了换人,(要是发现对方是外挂,不得骂人,让他用就是.自己换人) 赢了叫他退房就走. -自由8K Da Da Da (152bpm) 100W↑ 可以不爆普通8K 坚持 (138bpm) 20个P 爆一次个人同步姐姐 (168bpm) 6个MISS 要求爆一次自由讨人喜欢 (188bpm)家族：自由85 普通65-70 【技术部的人员】普通75-85自由75-100 保底自由恋爱 ing (197bpm)家族：自由65 普通50-55 【技术部的人员】普通60-70自由75-100 保底自由许愿池的希腊少女 (198bpm)家族：自由55 普通40-45 【技术部的人员】普通50-55自由60-70 保底自由 MY ALL (208bpm)家族：自由75 普通65-70 【技术部的人员】普通80-90自由100-110保底自由出神入化 (220bpm)家族：自由60 普通45-50 【技术部的人员】普通65-75自由75-85 保底申请家族号者满足以上任意一条即可注意技术部属戦隊管辖未达标着一律不准入戦隊群：　家族人如果有朋友要进家族，可以找管理《╭舞夜の之梦，╭舞夜の之龙》谈，想说的就是希望大家如果带人进家族我们欢迎。。。但是我希望那个人能是个你了解的人。。　　　　因为考虑到有人因为工作或者学习没太多时间放在劲舞游戏上，可能觉得考不过去但是一直支持舞夜家族或舞夜版，我们管理也可以商量给予通过。 1.如果发现有人在群里没素质，随意辱骂他人，情节严重者我将直接Ｔ群　除名．. 2.新进家族的人，希望大家，一起监督,必须与家族人团结。 3.老版友大家很熟悉的朋友人品过的去的朋友（版聚去过3次以上的朋友直接进家族） 4.家族重人品，希望技术和人品都第一。 ╭舞夜の之梦：QQ：520194491 ╭舞夜の之龙：QQ：277422139 欢迎光临舞夜论坛，舞夜欢迎您！！http://www.wuye520.com/

舞夜家族总规

2008-06-10T10:13:00.000-07:00

舞夜家族总规1:舞夜家族必须上进驻游戏的公会号,严禁双重身份.
2:无论任何游戏,必须服从带队游戏队长以及公会高管的命令,第一次不听从口头警告,第二次严重警告,第三次开除公会.<详见参照工会惩罚条例进行>
3:游戏群里不许骂人刷频,影响他人游戏以及正常的交流.
4:严禁杜绝因为私人感情问题而要退队退工会这一类事情的发生.一旦发现一律开除.永不录用.
5;每个成员必至少一周内上一次线,每天上线都要到论坛专贴下跟帖报道.需要请假一星期之上者.请找带队队长说明原因.并且在论坛另起帖子说明请假缘由..如有长时间不到并没有请假者,工会内部通报批评,二次发现者开出工会永不录取.!时间长不出现,开除公会
6:战斗组技术成员不得以自身技术歧视其他队员.
7:如在游戏里或论坛中与其他公会发生摩擦,要先截图上报高管.并由高管与对方工会进行协商处理.
8:严禁公会成员相互攻击，如果发现严重处理

如有添加.另行通知欢迎光临舞夜论坛，舞夜欢迎您！！http://www.wuye520.com/

论坛的十个基本礼节(新人必看)

2008-06-10T10:10:00.000-07:00

论坛的十个基本礼节(新人必看)礼节一：记住别人的存在互联网给予来自五湖四海人们一个共同的地方聚集，这是高科技的优点但往往也使得我们面对着电脑银屏忘了我们是在跟其他人打交道，我们的行为也因此容易变得更粗劣和无礼。因此《网络礼节》第一条就是“记住人的存在”。如果你当着面不会说的话在网上也不要说。
礼节二：网上网下行为一致在现实生活中大多数人都是尊法守纪，同样地在网上也同样如此。网上的道德和法律与现实生活是相同的，不要以为在网上与电脑交易就可以降低道德标准!
礼节三：入乡随俗同样是网站，不同的论坛有不同的规则。在一个论坛可以做的事情在另一个论坛可能不宜做。最好的建议：先爬一会儿墙头再发言.这样你可以知道坛子的气氛和可以接受的行为。
礼节四：尊重别人的时间和带宽。在提问题以前，先自己花些时间去搜索和研究。很有可能同样问题以前已经问过多次，现成的答案随手可及。不要以自我为中心，别人为你寻找答案需要消耗时间和资源。

礼节五：给自己网上留个好印象。因为网络的匿名性质，别人无法从你的外观来判断，因此你一言一语成为别人对你印象的唯一判断。如果你对某个方面不是很熟悉，找几本书看看再开口，无的放矢只能落个灌水王帽子。同样地，发帖以前仔细检查语法和用词。不要故意挑衅和使用脏话。
礼节六：分享你的知识。除了回答问题以外，这还包括当你提了一个有意思的问题而得到很多回答，特别是通过电子邮件得到的以后你应该写份总结与大家分享。
礼节七：平心静气地争论。争论与大战是正常的现象。要以理服人，不要人身攻击。
礼节八：尊重他人的隐私。别人与你用电子邮件或私聊(ICQ/QQ)的记录应该是隐私一部分。如果你认识某个人用笔名上网，在论坛未经同意将他的真名公开也不是一个好的行为。如果不小心看到别人打开电脑上的电子邮件或秘密，你不应该到处广播。
礼节九：不要滥用权利。管理员版主比其他用户有更多权利，应该珍惜使用这些权利。
礼节十：宽容！我们都曾经是新手，都会有犯错误的时候。当看到别人写错字，用错词，问一个低级问题或者写篇没必要的长篇大论时，你不要在意。如果你真的想给他建议，最好用电子邮件私下提议。网上的十个基本礼节(可爱版)欢迎光临舞夜论坛，舞夜欢迎您！！http://www.wuye520.com/

舞夜家族!!!

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